If you’ve given up a pet for rehoming, it may have been one of the hardest decisions of your life. It’s likely that you deeply loved and cherished your pet but you came to the decision that your family wasn’t the right one for them to really thrive.
As much as we would all like to make a life-long commitment to our pets, the reality is that this isn’t always possible.
Behavioural issues, a change in circumstances, poor health (yours or your pet’s), clashes within the family, work and family commitments, financial struggles – these can all feed into the decision to rehome.
Having said goodbye to your pet, perhaps to a rescue centre or foster home, you may find that you are experiencing grief that’s as strong as if your pet had died.
However, you may feel that you don’t have a right to grieve because you voluntarily surrendered your pet for rehoming or that other people don’t understand your loss.
It can be incredibly hard to talk about this and we want you to know that you’re not alone.
The grief and guilt of rehoming a pet
The grief of rehoming tends to be layered with emotions such as guilt and shame. You may feel like you’ll never forgive yourself for this decision.
Giving a pet up for rehoming is never easy and there are very few people who can do this without any misgivings.
People who have lived through this experience often say that they still reflect on it years later. However, the majority also believe it was the right thing to do, maybe because it is rarely a decision that’s taken lightly.
What’s clear is that it’s important to show yourself compassion at this difficult time.
We’ve put together some tips to help you find peace and comfort:
- Acknowledge your grief
Regardless of the circumstances, you have lost a pet for whom you cared deeply. It’s natural to grieve and it’s important that you allow yourself to experience your feelings.
Loss is loss, no matter what, and your grief is valid.
- Reflect on your reasons for rehoming
Most people who give a pet up for rehoming do so because they no longer feel able to adequately meet all of the animal’s needs.
It takes great courage to admit that an animal may be better off in a different environment or with different people caring for them.
Your needs matter too. Maybe you’ve been doing everything possible to care for your pet but to your own detriment or that of your family.
When you feel able, allow yourself to reflect on your reasons for rehoming. Remember, you had everyone’s best interests at heart.
- Animals adapt
Animals are survivors and far better able to live in the moment than us humans. Of course, they remember their past experiences and people but they also adapt surprisingly well to new situations.
Your pet will not be placing blame or judging you. They won’t be reflecting on what went wrong or why life has changed. Yes, they may feel worried, uncertain or even scared at first but they will soon adjust to their new normal.
Have you explored the possibility of receiving some updates about how your pet is settling and life with their new family? This may reassure you that they’re well and loved. However, in some scenarios, it is not possible to get updates.
- Ignore other people’s opinions
The issue of rehoming a pet is deeply emotive. Often, the only time people will hear about the topic is on television when abuse cases and neglect provide the emotional hook for the programme.
Of course, these cases are horrendous but they are completely separate to rehoming a pet out of love and a commitment to doing the right thing for them.
It’s very easy to judge someone from the outside looking in and you may find that some people do this to you. However, you know the truth of your situation and what is right for your pet and your family.
It’s no one else’s business because they’ve never experienced your unique circumstances. Remind yourself that anyone who’s judgemental of your decision to rehome doesn’t have all the facts. Therefore, they’re judging a fictional scenario.
- Know your sadness will bring someone else happiness
While you may not have been able to offer your pet the right environment for their needs, their new home will hopefully be the perfect fit.
You know how lovable and special your pet is and now someone else will get to experience great happiness because of your decision to rehome.
- Don’t feel bad about feeling relief
As well as feelings of grief, guilt and more, you may also have a sense of relief, of a weight being lifted, that you don’t have to factor your pet’s needs into your daily life anymore.
This can be confusing and distressing but, again, it’s an entirely natural response to resolving what has been an ongoing source of stress.
- It’s time to show yourself kindness and compassion
Right now, your thoughts are probably consumed by your pet’s welfare. You’re wondering if they’re okay, if they’re missing you, if they feel sad or rejected.
Remind yourself that you handed your pet over to someone responsible who would take care of their needs.
Your priority has to be to show yourself some kindness and compassion. What are your needs right now?
Reach out if you need to talk to someone. Rest, eat good food, exercise, do things that light you up inside.
As with all grief, you will have good days and bad days and eventually find a way to make sense of this life-changing experience.
Just know that whatever you’re feeling, it matters.
Need to talk? Our supportive pet loss community offers a safe and compassionate space to grieve.
Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support
Thank you so much for this. You said everything I am feeling and it helps me not feel so alone. This has been heartbreaking…I can’t stop crying. My Americus was my baby, my constant buddy and I am devastated. 💔
View CommentDoes the crying ever stop? I’m so tired of crying.
View CommentI can’t stop crying either and it’s been over a year. I have my 14 year old dog still and I love her but I still miss my Skye so much. I’m just so depressed and ready to give up. I don’t know what to do to stop this pain.
View CommentRhonda
Rhonda, I contemplated suicide recently. And checked myself into a voluntary facility. What you are saying sounds very painful and may need psychiatric care.. I could not care for myself.
View CommentIt sounds like you have another dog who needs you which is a blessing. It needs you to care for yourself along with it. That’s one positive I don’t have because I could only rescue one at a time. Try to think about the activities you could be doing for its life enrichment.
Give your little a squeeze for me.
My family sold my kitten yesterday. It was only yesterday and I can’t stop crying or thinking about her. She was sold because we already had three kittens (originally 5 but we gave 2 to relatives) and my family intends to sell two, my kitten being one of them. When the buyers came to our house and i saw them holding my kitten, i just couldn’t stay there so I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for a solid thirty minutes until they left. When my family and the buyers of the cat brought the cat over to the vet for a check up, i couldn’t bring myself to go in the room. I just stayed in the lobby and i can’t express how much regret i feel. The worst part is, i can never see her again. I haven’t stopped crying and I just want to know when this pain ends.
View Commenti feel so bad 4 u but ik how it feels im giving away my pet rabbit in 3 days i think</3.
View CommentFeel you </3 My family had to sell my first and only dog aganist my will since they said its too much responsibility to keep him. I came home and the buyers came minutes later so i didn't even get to say my final goodbye to him and the fact they stood there felt so awkward i just felt judged by them. However it brings me peace knowing he got into an happy home with people who will show him love. It happend about 7-8 months ago but i still feel the emotions and the grief i did that day. Some days you do feel happier about the whole situation but the pain will still be with you.
View CommentThis what I felt yesterday giving my babies away. I had to give my babies away to a shelter because I couldn’t find them a home in time. I had to give them away due to my pregnancy. I couldn’t take it I been crying every since . The hardest thing I ever had to do . And I feel so guilty. I miss them , I hope they okay , I know they looking for me . It really does suck.
View CommentIt will get better with each passing season and each passing year. I had my Bella almost five years and I grieved her a long, long time. The most important thing to consider is to FORGIVE YOURSELF. This is very important bc it is the source of most of your pain. The second is to not be too hard on yourself or grieve too intensely for too long. It’s ok to have good days even days where you let go. He/she has a new life now and has moved on. You must do so as well. I grieved too long myself but am finally at a point where I remember her with a smile on my face instead of just tears in my eyes. To get to this point though you must acknowledge the pain, forgive yourself, and let go little by little. Day by day you’ll get stronger.
View CommentPrayers sent to you.
I love my Molly so much, but I can’t take care of her like she deserves. And I feel like she deserves better than I can provide for her in my current financial and psychological state. But she has been all I had for the last few years. I am sad for me bc i am losing her, but I am happy for her bc she will have a better life than she ever could with me, and if we love our dogs as much as we say, than unselfishly giving them a chance at a better life is the most incredibly selfless act of love we could ever show them…
View CommentI just had to do this yesterday and I haven’t stopped crying. I keep looking in the yard and my sweet Newton is not here. 😪 peace to you all.
View CommentI had to surrender my cat Bella due to unexpected changes in our household (Toddler has severe allergy). Ever since I dropped her off I haven’t stopped crying, I wish I came across this article before I did the surrender. I thought I was the only one going through these emotions , and people really do shame you for wanting to surrender. Hardest thing I have ever had to do , I miss my baby dearly !!
View CommentI am so sorry that you are going through this. I recently had to rehome my Stitch (french bulldog) due to my allergies. I had him a year. Tried to do everything possible to keep him but in the end it was best for him to go with a family that could provide all the cuddles he deserves. My family and I are saddened by this choice but I know in my heart it was the best decision for him
View CommentRecently had to surrender my dog due to behavioral issues. I feel like someone died and I cannot stop crying, I don’t know how I will get over it. Any tips please?
View CommentI’ve just had to do the same, due to behavioural issues. I can’t stop crying. Time is supposed to be the best healer.
View CommentWe just gave up our 2 dear cats to rehoming group yesterday due to behavioral issues. We have been crying off and on since then. I’ve just been thinking about how scared they must be in a new place.
View CommentThis has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. And it was something that could have been prevented. A few months ago my mother decided she wanted to get puppies but there was no space for them and she couldn’t care for them properly. I begged her not to get puppies but she got them anyway. I tried not to get close to them but I also felt so bad that I ended up exercising and looking after them at times but I never fully committed. Because I can’t afford to look after puppies at the moment.
View CommentIn the end I made such a scene that two days ago eventually she let us take them away to the SPCA ( animal shelter ) to be rehomed. Don’t think I can forgive what she did or the fact that she put me through this. It has been horrible these past two days. I keep remembering the look on their faces before we left. I pray that they are rehomed safely. I know it was the right decision but the pain is still there. Thank you for this article. I don’t feel as much guilt as before.
I’m going through the exact same situation. My 75 year old mother decided she wanted two dogs and got a Golden Retriever and a Boxer mix as puppies. I warned her previously that this was not a good idea and that the dogs would be very large and hard to handle. She had them for about nine months and decided it was too much. During that time, I bonded with them and loved them. She eventually found a person that was willing to rehome them, and I had to say goodbye to them today. My heart is broken and I can’t stop crying! I am also so pissed off at my mother for creating this situation and her attitude toward the whole thing.
View CommentThanks for this article been feeling this. We had to surrender our dog because he had health issues and we couldn’t afford his medical bills. He’s in a good place but I feel like I abandoned him when he needed us most but I also know we loved him enough to let go and have someone else care for him properly. We miss him and I know I will feel this for a while. Thanks again I really needed this.
View CommentI just rehomed my 2 dogs because of a divorce and having to move to an apartment. I didn’t think the situation would be good for them. They were used to a big yard to run and play in, and I have some medical issues that would make it too hard to care for them if I have to walk them on a leash every time they have to go out. I feel so SAD and am devastated being without them. They were my best friends and I loved them so much. I made sure they had good homes to go to, but I wonder if I will ever get over this awful loss! I hope they are happy and are not upset that I had to give them up. I hope Frankie (my frug) is chasing around the little boy he now lives with and loves his big backyard. Maggie, my Boston Terrier, is with my ex husband, who she loves. I hope this pain does not last forever. Sometimes I regret my decision, even though I know it was best for them. I hope they don’t ever think that they did something wrong!
View CommentI rehomed a puppy I had for 2 weeks due to allergies. I feel so depressed and like I lost my baby. This article was helpful and the comments are too to see that I’m not alone. I hope the crying has stopped for the people above and I hope it stops soon for myself.
View CommentI am heart broken because I had to give up my 5 year old dog called Bruno. I’ve had him since he was 8 weeks old and loved him dearly. I could no longer meet his needs as I worked long hours due to work. He was home alone for long hours during the day which is so unfair on him. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a garden so he was stuck in a flat. I had to make the hard decision after months of torment. I know he is going to get all his needset in a new home. He was such a loving and loyal dog. I gave him to the dog shelter and they have put him in a Foster home . He is up for adoption so will go to a new home soon. I’m distraught no more potter patter of doggy paws coming to greet me when I get home.
View CommentI certainly can relate — by dog also Bruno was only 6 months old. He was a beautiful boy. Due to my husband having a stroke and me working it was too much work for me to take care of both, so I took him back to the shelter to rehome him. It only has been three days and I still am crying. Hope it gets better. I had no idea a pet could get ahold of your heart this much. Thanks for all the posts. It helpsl
View CommentMy mom decided to rehome my 2 female chowchow puppies tomorrow after 8 months of loving them. And I cant stop feeling depress and sad about it due to home space, and time management. Those 2 female chowchow are originally the daughter of our mother chowchow. We have a total of 4 chowchow, the mother and its 3 chows where the other is male. Im so sad right now and heartbroken but i hope the new owner will take care of them well and i’ll manage to contact them and try to visit them someday.
View CommentDue to behavior issues, i rehomed my beloved cat today. He gave me great comfort through difficult times during the last 10 years. I can’t stop crying. I’m broken and feel I will question my decision forever.
View CommentI’m struggling so hard today at 12 I’m surrendering my rabbit back to the animal rescue. I lived giving him his daily treats he loves bananas and carrots. He unfortunately doesn’t like to be held and when I let him roam free out of his cages he gets into trouble. I feel awful for bringing him back l but it’s been 8 months and I’m overwhelmed and caring for him weighs heavy in my head everyday. I hope he goes to a home with another rabbit and finds companionship.
View Commenti feel so bad 4 u but ik how it feels im giving away my pet rabbit in 3 days i think and I can’t stop crying
View CommentThank you so much for this kind article – it helped me feel not so alone. I’ve had a beloved bunny for five years. He’s the sweetest, gentlest soul, he’ll sit on your lap and be pet for hours and hours, will close his eyes and lean into your touch. He jumped around the yard and went for walks on a harness. But my workload became so demanding that I realized he was going for days and days on end not coming out of his cage. I’ve made the decision to rehome him, hopefully to an old couple that are kind to him or something. I’m driving him to the animal shelter on Saturday. I’ve been crying and crying, selfishly wishing I could keep him. Rehoming a pet is so, so hard. But this article definitely helped me see the bright side and validated my pain.
View CommentI had to surrender 2 kittens a couple of days ago that I have been caring for since they were born almost 4 months ago. A little stray that I had been feeding came in and had 4 kittens in my house, since then they had all been living with me, I just couldn’t afford to keep all 5 cats, I wouldn’t have been able to look after them all properly. My heart is broken and I feel so guilty, I haven’t stopped crying since. I just keep thinking how they didn’t really know anything outside of my house and for them now to be just the two of them with new people in new surroundings it must be so scary for them. The house is so quiet without them, Mama cat and the 2 other kittens are really feeling it too. Thank you so much for this article because it made me feel less alone with how I am feeling right now.
View CommentI am in a very similar situation now… In February a black cat starting demanding entry to my loft room, turned out she was pregnant and gave birth to two kittens in my room. Found out she belonged to irresponsible stupid neighbour downstairs who let her roam outside without getting her spayed, he kept insisting on keeping her but not wanting the kittens or taking the mother to the vet or anything. Her stray backyard tom started coming over to my place as well, the whole family. In June she got pregnant again and I was really freaking out! Pressed the neighbour and he renounced the mother cat telling me I just stress him out with her, so to keep her. So I could finally get her sorted, but as I am currently on a low income, I had to register with jobcentre to be eligible for PDSA, managed to get her spayed-abortion a week later, no1 done. The stray father who kept sneaking into my room through opened window and spraying urine everywhere, that was also not easy. As he did not like to be handled and sometimes snapped. With the help of two rescuers I found on facebook we got him neutered as well few weeks ago. I bought him an outdoor shelter for 80 pounds and made it really cosy for him, but he does not care about it apart from spraying urine on it, and continued to demand entry to my house. But I cannot have 4 cats here as I live in a flatshare and my flatmates are not supportive at all, cannot even find a cat sitter for couple of weeks so i can go abroad and have a break in a forest, today a rescuer messaged me she found the father cat a spot in a shelter in a city far from London and it is now or never… And I have been crying since she told me, the tom got really attached to me, and obviously I am attached to all of them, but it is too much for one person to handle without any support… This Sophie´s choice in my head all day, should I send the kittens away (two kittens, 3 months now) and keep the parents, or should I send the father away and keep mom with kittens (same problem with too many cats) or should I keep them all or send all of them away, just mad… Mother is still very bonded with the kittens… And the father also seemed bonded with them… Unless he only cared about my warm room… It feels very very hard to separate them but it is very very hard to continue supporting them all without any help and the inability to even find a free cat sitter for couple weeks.
View Commentthis article and these comments have helped me. i am having to rehome my 2 chinchillas due to severe allergies. i’ve had both of them for a couple of years now, but in the last month or so, my allergies have been unbearable and it is putting my health at risk. i also have a new job that is taking up a majority of my time so i just feel inadequate as an owner. i’ve never had to rehome an animal before, so this has been so difficult for me to even think about. i feel like i will think about them forever. the thought of never seeing them again breaks my heart but i feel that it is the best decision for all parties involved. i am crying as i’m writing this. i feel so much guilt and sadness.
View CommentI have two rescue dogs. Due to my physical and mental ill health and behavioural issues I am going to have to give the bigger and younger dog up. I have had him since he was 13 weeks old and he is now 37 kg. He is much bigger than the rescue centre told me he would be. Six months after I got him I became very ill and my husband has started working long hours. My daughter left home and the neighbour who helped me with the dogs has moved out. If I had known what was coming I would not have taken him. I now feel like I have failed him but I’m still working full time from home and fighting every day just to get out of bed. It’s not fair on him. I cannot give him the attention and exercise he needs. I feel like an utter failure. Earlier today he pulled me over whilst on the lead and attacked another dog. He’s not usually aggressive but he needs time I can’t give him. I love him so much and he’s so loving but I just can’t do this anymore. I will miss him for the rest of my life.
View CommentWe are surrendering out wonderful, beautiful, family dog tomorrow. She is so great to our children and is a dream dog in most ways. Unfortunately she sees all other children as a threat to our children and she has bitten several kids (not serious injury, but bruises, tears, and sometimes a little broken skin). We tried training, we read books, we tried eliminating all encounters… But this week a neighbor girl (6) rang our doorbell to see if my son could play, I didn’t hear the doorbell and my 4 yr old opened the door. Our dog ran up and nipped the little girl. I was devastated but knew what we had to do to keep the children in our neighborhood safe. We adopted her 4 yrs ago, she is part of our family and we couldn’t fix her. I am just as sad about this as I was when my last dog of 14 yrs died from a heart condition. How can I take my spoiled baby and put her in a shelter cage tomorrow and then leave her there? The shelter said it’s the best thing to do as they have trainers to work with her more than we could ever do…and it’s less risky than me trying to re-home her and having a child get seriously hurt. But I still feel awful.
View CommentThank you for sharing this story. We are returning our beloved rescue for very similar reasons. We have not had him as nearly long as you had your dog, but the pain is still immense. He can be an amazing, wonderful dog except that he has snapped and bitten more than once due to reactivity. We have tried everything – behavioral specialists, training, medications, adapting our lifestyle, etc. He recently bit a household member and we made the heartbreaking decision to return him. As much as we love him, we feel the risks are too great, especially with lots of small children in our neighborhood. I don’t normally comment on threads like this but your particular story really resonated with me. The grief and guilt is really overwhelming but I am hoping that in doing this there is a better environment where he can thrive. Thanks again for sharing.
View CommentWe are surrendering our 1 year old shepherd mix we have had her since she was 8 weeks old she has been amazing loves our 4 year old son and our 16 year old little dog. We are moving out of the country next year and I’ve looked into so many different ways of being her but the cheapest was $5,300 it so much money money we don’t have that’s the reason we are moving away. I also look at her and feel bad we live in an apartment and she wants to run and play and we don’t have the space she is 65 lbs and I feel like we are holding her back not having a yard to play and run. It took me a month to finally make a choice with the rescue to take her she leaves in a week and I’m heart broken I just look at her and cry I know deep down this is the best thing for her she will be able to find a family that has a yard and can take her on adventures. I’ve never given a pet up so I’m feeling like I’m a bad person it’s so hard and I don’t even want people I know to know for them to judge me for it it been such a difficult thing my parents and aunt are the only ones that I’ve told and they have told me I’m doing what is right for her she needs more room and exercise
View CommentHi all ❤️ good to know I’m not alone in my sadness🥺🐕 for rehoming a beloved gsd. I loved her so so much and I found her a very nice couple with more space and time for her. And they send me pics & i can visit her. But my 💔 heart is in agony cause I miss her!! No one will stick by me and stick up for me like she did. When I’m sick ill need her and I won’t have her. I have thought so many times how I hate how I did this to myself and to her. She looks so happy, now but I wasn’t a terrible caregiver to her. I wish there was a way to go back in time and change my actions.
View CommentWow! Thank you so much!!!
View CommentI had to surrender my dog yesterday back to the spca where I got him about 1.5 years ago. He had many issues we were aware of when we got him, did not know just got bad. We still stuck it out and wanted him to feel love for the first time. Before us he had already been through many homes in his short 3 year life. He had been heavily abused. Neglected. Starved. Just treated horribly! No matter how much we did for him, he just couldn’t trust again. While we spent the last year and a half walking on eggshells, we also built beautiful bonds with him. There was so much love for him, but he just kept damaging everything. We replaced 3 couches, multiple chairs, shoes etc. We lived minimalistic having next nothing so he couldn’t destroy our things, to the point we haven’t had a living room to sit in for a year. Still, we loved him anyways. We got him a trainer that he just tried to eat… he wouldn’t allow it. We did EVERYTHING!!!!! Still I can’t stop crying because I feel we failed him. Last night (the first night) was the hardest!!! Hearing my kids cry themselves to sleep was horrible… and I could only think my poor Hemi boy is crying too, like I could hear him.
My heart is just so broken. This article is amazing! Thank you so much
Thank you for the tips on letting a pet go. I have had to make the really difficult decision to rehome one of our Spaniels. I have had him since 8 weeks, and gone through the teen phrase. I have done all the right things by trying to mentally stimulate him and give him enough exercise, I even started Gun dog training. The problem has been with my husband, and him forgetting how to deal with him while I go to work (part time). My husband has been bitten 4 times, luckily not seriously, but bitten all the same. He has now lost confidence in the dog. I am going to take him to a wonderful Gundog home in a week’s time where he will be assessed to see if he will go to work, or if not perhaps be a drug detection dog. Some working cockers do not do well in pet homes, whilst other’s do by doing agility etc. My heart is breaking after all the work I have put in, but I need to put the dogs needs before my own. Will I ever stop crying.
View CommentThis sounds exactly like my dog, who I surrendered to a Cocker Rescue. I tried to rehome him myself but it didn’t work out. I feel that Archie should be a gun dog or given a job to do. He is a true working type of Cocker with boundless energy. Living in my condo and getting walked wasn’t enough for him He became reactive and possessive. I know he’s in good hands and they’ll find him a good home doing what he was bred to do.
View CommentIm so tired, i had to deal with this everytime our dog gets pregnant then i would get attached to her puppies. until 1-2 months have passed and they’re already gone coz my family jus want to give the new generations away as soon as they can because we already have three dogs. I just feel so down ’cause our dog already got pregnant for 4-6 times already and every batch of her newborns i always have one or two favorites that i will sleep with and feed and they would follow me anywhere i go with their tails always excited. My phone is full of their funny pic and videos like who was the first one that can use the stairs but the sad part is I know that they will be taken away soon but even tho i got ready for it a few times it doesn’t make it easier i would still miss them so much in the end. just like yesterday they took the last one of the six puppies while i was sleeping next to her in my bed and now her spot is just full of my tears bro i tried to ignore this batch of newborns but i still ended up crying for one its so tiring to feel this everytime like im crying now because of all of them and its like 10x more painful
View CommentThis doesn’t diminish your sadness for losing previous pups, but, it really sounds like your family needs to spay the dog? 4-6 litters of puppies is more than enough; and breeding new dogs is less animal-friendly than encouraging people to consider rescue animals first. Have you thought of educating your family about that?
View Commentme and my fiance recently needed to re-home our kitten we’d had for three and a half months, colby jack. he was a hand raised kitten so he was very rambunctious, which to me and my fiance was somewhat difficult, seeing as we both work and i have a myriad of health issues, but the issue lied most within my other cats.. i have an eighteen year old cat whom ive owned almost his entire life and was a feral stray, and a ten year old cat that has very bad compulsive behaviors because of her abusive past. (plus, she hates sharing, and would lash out at colby for wanting to play). i saw that he wasn’t able to spend his energy as well he could have because of these factors, and we discussed rehoming for a little while. he was such a sweet kitty, so loving and he would follow you around the house and purr the whole time. his presence was a gift of life and energy to our lives but it proved to be too much to our other cats most of all, and i wanted them to be happy and comfortable, too. the couple we found for him is amazing, and we can even get pictures, but i still can’t keep myself from crying when i see one of his toys when i clean, or when i go to feed the cats and there’s only two. i know his life will be better and his new owners adore him so very much. i do too and i miss him dearly.. i hope everyone reading finds some solace in their pain as well, and thank you for this, sincerely
View CommentThis article has helped me tremendously coping with the remaining of 3 cats and 2 dogs. I took care of them for over a year by myself. I am moving to Ohio to a 1200 sq ft house and there is another dog there already. Too many animals in one house. And I refuse to leave them outside in a kennel, that is just cruel. So I chose to rehome. It’s been absolutely heart wrenching for me. A rescue friend found fosters etc for them in two different states. They will get a great home, that I know but still the most difficult decision I’ve ever had to make. I will miss them tremendously. Hoping to get updates…..
View CommentI gave up my 1 year old sheepdog yesterday and I am beyond devastated. I had him since he was a puppy and I feel horrible I couldn’t handle his needs anymore. I tried my hardest to give him the best life. Sacrificing time, money, relationships. As he got older and bigger, it was hard to keep up with his high exercise needs and he was becoming aggressive, possessive and dominant. I tried training school early on but it didn’t work and he was becoming a safety issue. I thought I could handle it but he was starting to turn on me. It breaks my heart because he is such a beautiful, sweet boy and I know he has the potential to grow into a lovely dog. He needs more than I can give him. It was hard to admit that to myself since I was giving so much everyday so that he would be healthy and happy. I feel like a failure for taking on the dog and not being able to meet his needs. I feel like I failed him and myself. The grief is real and I’m crying multiple times a day. I know it’s going to take a long time to heal.
View CommentThe upside to this sad story is that by the grace of God I was able to find an experienced trainer that would take him, train him properly and find him a new home. I am incredibly sad that I couldn’t be his mommy any more and my mind is flooded with his memories. He was my companion and protector. I pray that he finds a good home where he can thrive and be loved.
Thank you hearing me out. I’m incredibly sad going through this. If you’re feeling the same, know you’re not alone. Sometimes we have to make hard decisions that is best for all involved. I that pray all pets find good homes and that you find peace knowing you made the right decision.
What a wonderfully written article. I stumbled across it as I’m about to rehome my 5 year old boy at the weekend. I found a wonderful lady who is retired, and will dote on him. Yet I am wracked with guilt and feelings of loss right now. I should never have got a dog, but my son begged for one. He is an adult now and I have always been our dogs main carer. He absolutely adores me which makes this even harder. I’m a newly diagnosed autistic and there are times I just can’t manage his care on my own. Also certain things I find very triggering and puts me in a constant state of anxiety, like too much movement when I’m in sensory overload ….too much sound..sometimes I cant bear being touched ..I feel so bad that I can’t tolerate these things but its not fair on my dog. He deserves love and to make someone more deserving happy. He is such a beautiful dog. I have promised tho that if after 3 months he’s still depressed or pining for me, I will bring him home . I hope he’ll be happy tho. He has so much love to give and he needs someone who can show that.
View CommentThank you. I just had to give up my parrot. Mango and I have been together 15 years. He was jealous and hated my wife. I have been. Married 5 years. But Mango bite her both hands badly recently. She no longer felt safe in our home – I feel so guilty and miserable for failing them both. A small comfort is my daughter took Mango. But he really is only gentle with me or men In general. I might regret this for ever. It was only right In that I can allow this ever happen again and he was always stalking her. So very sad. He was my baby. My wife thought because I cried that she should go and leave us together. She does not understand such grief.
View CommentThank you so much for this article. I’m in so much pain and sadness right now. I love my cat so much, from the time he was a kitten to ten years old. I really hate myself, I’ll never be the same, and I feel like my house is empty even with others here.
View CommentI rehomed my 3 1/2 year old frenchie yesterday. He was my shadow and my 12 year old sons shadow. He was aggressive towards my husband and mother in law. We tried many things and nothing changed his guarding of me and how he woukd turn on them. This is so hard because its bern a month since I lost my almost 9 year old great dane. I feel increasingly guilty rehoming the frenchie. I loved him so much. He was my whole heart. I pray we made the right decision. I cant stop crying.
View Commenti had to rehome my two cats today and it’s the hardest decision i ever had to make. my mom is severely allergic and it would have been selfish to keep them in spite of her allergies. i keep getting told that i betrayed them and i should have never made the decision. deep down, i know it was what’s best for them and that they deserve to go to a family with lots of love and happiness. i didn’t expect to be so emotional but now i haven’t been able to stop crying. everywhere i look, i see them. i just keep thinking about how they trusted me so much and i let them down. i keep telling myself that they are going to find an amazing home with a great family but im so scared that they will get separated. i feel so guilty for putting them in a place so unfamiliar to them and how scared they must be. it feels like a part of me was just ripped out and i don’t know if i will ever be the same. every time i think i have stopped crying i just see a certain spot where they were and it’s like everything restarts. i know they say that grief comes in waves and im trying to remember that it will get better. i have been searching around articles and posts reading people’s stories about similar stories and they have been a great help. i know they say time heals all wounds and i hope it heals mine and all of yours.
View CommentI had to rehome my 1.7 year old Golden Retriever baby to a new loving home with a Golden Retriever of their own.. It has not even been 24 hours yet and it feels like the time stopped for me. I can’t stay home because every place in the home reminds me of her and I keep seeing her there. I made sure she went to a great home, who can take care of her not only emotionally but physically and financially. And it helps a little bit but the hole in my heart still lingers. I will never ever forget the times we shared together. Walks every single day and just seeing her smile. I love her so much and I miss her so much.
View CommentWhoever wrote this article, thank you so much… I have to re-home my cat and it truly is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Reading this article made me sob like a baby, not only because of my personal situation, but because this article said everything that I have been thinking, and it has brought me so much comfort. I know this process will still be unbearable, but reading the article and all of the other comments from people who have had the same experience and emotions is relieving.
View CommentMy parents gave away my rabbits because they bite everything and eat their plants in the garden. Their hair gets everywhere so we moved them to the shed but they complained that they took up too much space. I had them for 4/5 years and got really attached but a month ago they gave them away to an animal shelter. I have to admit that I haven’t been taking good care of them recently because I had exams and all but I just feel so guilty and keep on and off crying. I hate to see my family move on like nothing even happened. Now they want to get a dog as a replacement. I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ll still love the dog but I miss my rabbits. It doesn’t help that one had a huge lump or tumour or something on their chin and my parents didn’t want to get it checked out and they just sent them off to the animal shelter hoping they’d pay for the vet when they have tons of sick animals already. I just want some sort of update and want to get in touch with the owners. I can’t stop checking the animal shelters website or instagram to see if my rabbits are on it.
View CommentIt’s costing me a lot !
I found a rescue near me who could take my Guinea pig.
I’ve been crying because I’ve accepted to take him over. (Tomorrow) I keep telling myself no I’m not going to make it .. I’ll miss my appointment. But circumstances have changed. I’m expecting. & I’m afraid I won’t provide the best care for him.
I love you so much my dead Guinea 🙁
View CommentGood on you. It’s responsible to recognize when you need help with a pet, especially woth a LO on the way. We are rehoming our dog because he’s scared of our 1 year old baby. It’s so sad and so hard. But we found hum a perfect gome, closeby.
View CommentGood luck With you guinea pig rehome.
Ive had to give away and find a new home for my 5 roosters ive had for a long many years some are even over 8 years old. All hand raised and hatched here. I have 12 hens i will have to halve too.
Three months ago my dad said he wanted to move us all within 2 months sell the house etc. its been a shock because weve been here on acres for 26 years.p and now going to live in an urban environment where roosters cant go and cant have too many hens. It was a struggle to even find a house with somewhat of a backyard these days but we found what we could.
Ive had to sneek my roosters out in the night into a big cage and ready to put in a big cardboard box dor tomorrow to rehome them to a person on a farm that will use them for breeding ive been told.
View CommentIve had roostes for over 20 years, im used to their specific crows and behavours running around outside with the hens – its a sign of home and relaxation and love and now i have to get rid of that and have to watch them who trust me give them away and its all very upsetting and distressing for me.
Something happened to my precious Ghibli and she would not stop attacking my husband. She’s always been a nervous girl and the vet thinks something else scared her and it was redirected aggression. I have a 6 month old baby so keeping a quiet and predictable environment where she could learn to trust again wasn’t possible and the foster from the cat charity said she would do better after being rehabilitated and rehomed in a quiet household. That doesn’t stop me looking for her on the stairs when I come home every day, on the couch when I go downstairs at night or at my feet when I move from room to room. I wish I could’ve told her that everything was alright and that she could’ve understood me.
View CommentThis sums up everything I’ve been feeling. I rehomed my little Sandy and now I can’t stop crying. It’s been 4 days. I never considered myself a dog person, but in my own way I loved that little puppy. 😞
View CommentI just found this blog and thanks for writing this. I just surrendered my dog Archie to a breed specific rescue this past weekend. I got him at 10 weeks and he is 15 months now. I unfortunately have too many physical and mental health issues to deal with his energy. He’s a beautiful active dog who needs room to run, and another dog to play with. He loves to hunt and I hope he ends up with someone that can do that with him. As my physical issues increase over time life would’ve gotten smaller and smaller. Plus, my condo is not the right home for a dog with his needs. But – I’ve been crying non-stop thinking of him wondering where he is what is happening. I hope to get updates soon and I want him to have a great life. Last night was the first night he wasn’t cuddled up next to me and it broke me.
View CommentI live in a small apartment with two cats,one of them with behavioral issues. I rehomed my Ari to a farm, and i am feeling all of the emotions stated in this article😭
View CommentBut i am pleased with myself on basing my decision solely on
My beloved pet, whom i cherished since he was five weeks old. I saw he wasn’t happy in my tiny apartment home and needed more space to run and play,and enjoy life.
I want to thank the author of this article for acknowledging my grief and that i AM deserving.
I gave up my dog of 4 years due to behaviour problems and being aggressive to my cat. I can’t stop crying I feel like a loved one has died I feel like I’ve made the wrong choice.
View CommentI have a rescue dog that is a full bloodied Beagle. I have had her for two years. Got her when she was around 6 months old. I have had Beagles in the past so I knew what to expect but this last week a cat came into my yard and my Callie mauled it to death. I just couldn’t bare the thought of this happening again to someone’s beloved pet so I made the difficult decision to contact a Beagle Rescue. I feel like such a failure for giving her up but it’s just not right. She is an active dog that needs to be in the country where she can run freely and chase whatever she wants to chase. I live in town and have a good size backyard but it’s not enough for her. My heart hurts just looking at her now and knowing she will be leaving me soon. Thanks for sharing your heart-breaking stories.
View CommentI am having a hard time after giving my boy back to the rescue he came from, due to our special needs daughter she would spook him with her stimming and he would be terrified, I rented an apartment across the street and worked from home with him everyday to keep him around hoping our daughters condition would get better and they could be together safely, but we had to give up the place and he got spooked by her again, for his safety and our daughters we had to do what we thought was best, we tried to rehome him but we ran out of time, dropping him at the shelter was the hardest thing I had to do, I know he hates it there I know he will find a great place but the guilt of Leaving him there is killing me, I hope nobody ever ever has to feel this way. This article and all of your stories helped put things in perspective and made me feel not so alone, thank you
View CommentWe were first time dog owners, not that I never had exposure. I grew up with dogs, my parents have ALWAYS had dogs. But I never expected this experience. We got our Kirby as a puppy from a breeder. He started resource guarding certain things about a month after we got him. His biting was aggressive now that I realize what was happening and I don’t think I explained it well to the breeder, vet, and trainer at the time and they’d refer to it as puppy biting and said he’d grow out of it with training. His aggressions didn’t happen regularly but it did get worse as he got older and more unpredictable. But the time in between the attacks were so wonderful. He was so loving and such a great companion in those times. He was my baby. We hired a behavioral trainer, behaviorist, and a vet that specialized in behavioral sciences. Nothing helps, not meds, not training, not exposure. He kept biting us in unpredictable situations, things one would never think would be a problem. It got to a point where we knew he’d be better with someone with experience in aggressive dogs and better for our mental health as well. We made the decision two months ago to return him to the breeder as they said they’d find that type of home for him. And they did, and I so happy for him because they saw in him what I did. But I’m still a wreck, I’m jealous, I miss him like crazy, and I feel like I failed him. I think about him all the time and I still want him here with me. I’m constantly wondering if they’re doing the things I know he loved, like I’d sing to him and if they’re playing with him the ways he liked to play. I feel like I’ll never escape the sadness and emptiness. When does this get better?
View CommentEdit: He never bit anyone but us, but he came close with groomers and once our friend, who is a dog lover and never thought anything of it. But after that, we didn’t feel comfortable having him around anyone but us. In addition to that he was very reactive on walks and we worked with him for a 1.5 years with all of the professionals mentioned above. Everything got worse, it’s like the more exposure he had to strangers (both human and dogs alike) the worse his reactivity got. I still have regrets, I constantly wonder what or if we could have done something different or more. I just keep praying for him to be healed so he can live a long happy, healthy life with his new owners. He deserves that, as I said, he was so very loving. He just made dangerous decisions and we couldn’t figure out how to fix that. I’ll miss him forever, and some people tell us to get another dog and the breeder even offered another, but even with the vet and behaviorist telling us it was genetic with him, that it wasn’t anything we did or didn’t do, I just don’t see myself ever wanting another dog. Not because I’ve lost love for dogs or anything, I just feel like I failed him and I can’t do that to another dog. I can’t risk it. But also, I love him so much and if I can’t have him, I don’t want another. Anyone going through these types of feelings?
View CommentIt sounds like you did everything you could to help your dog. This decision wasn’t made lightly and without exhausting all options for treatment. I hope you are able to accept it and one day accept a new dog into your heart and home. It seems like you have the love and resources to give an animal a loving home.
View CommentWe surrendered our mini-Aussie puppy (6.5 months) to the breeder yesterday. He is a wonderful dog with the happiest disposition. We are an older couple and live in a condo. The breeder said a mini-Aussie would do fine with us if we got a low drive puppy. We took her word for it and brought home the pup she said would be good for us. But his exercise needs are very high. We don’t have a fenced yard so his daily exercise was a couple of walks per day and lots of indoor play time. I would drive him out to a friends house in the country once a week so he could run and he loved it. But it wasn’t enough. Then I fell down the stairs carrying him to the basement during a tornado and injured both knees. I am still in treatment and may need surgery. We just could not meet his exercise needs. This was the concern I expressed with the breeder right from the beginning. I am heartbroken and feel like such a heel returning him. I feel I knew better but allowed the breeder to cloud my judgement. I feel so guilty. And I miss him so very much. He was the sweetest animal we have ever had. I don’t know how to forgive myself for making such poor decisions that lead up to having to return him. This is more difficult than having to put a dog down.
View CommentAfter 3 years, I am still devastated and non -functioning after surrender my cat to the animal shelter she came from/where I adopted her. For 2,5 years she, my other cat (that passes away a few months prior to the other cat’s rehoming) and I were a little, warm and cozy family. The animal shelter refuses to ask the new ‘owners’/household if they want and if it’s possible to share with me some updates regarding how the cat is doing. I am very sad and heartbroken 💔
View CommentThank you so much for this article and also, thank you everyone for sharing your own experiences with regards to rehoming your beloved pets.
I adopted a cat when he was 12 weeks old. I’m a huge cat lover and was stoked to have my very first indoor cat (only had cats who could come into the house when I was a kid and lived on a land). He started having behavioral issues about 2 months in. I tried everything I could, played with him a lot, and even sought help from a pet behavioral therapist. Nothing worked. He had loads of energy, so no matter how much we’d play, it wasn’t enough. Then he got bored and pushed all the buttons you can imagine. We got to a point where my mental health suffered. I couldn’t hang the laundry in the apartment, couldn’t cook or have a meal in peace because he’d attack me. Regardless, I loved him very much. He was an affectionate cat, would follow me everywhere, and always wanted to be close. 1.5 years after his adoption, I decided to rehome him and yesterday took him back to the same sanctuary I got him from. My heart broke. I couldn’t stop crying.
View CommentI’m at the stage of wondering if he is ok or if he misses me too. Unfortunately getting updates about him is not possible.
I feel a lot of guilt for not being able to provide him with an environment that would make him happy.
I never imagined rehoming a pet would be so hard and heartbreaking. I hope it gets better.
Hi all, I’ve just had to rehome my dog of two years a few days ago and I’m heartbroken, she wasn’t getting along with my partners dog who lived with my partner before we met, we decided to get ourselves a dog we could raise together and as she grew she became too much for the smaller dog in the house, we tried training and behaviourists and we thought we were getting somewhere recently, but then she hurt the other dog quite badly and we knew that we couldn’t risk her being hurt again, so we took her to a rescue, I feel so awful, like I failed my baby, she’s been fostered and is due to find her new home and the foster family is sending updates occasionally, and I know she is doing okay which offers respite, but the agony of her not being around and not being able to see her ever again is just horrible, I worry that she feels the same pain that I do, that she wants me back just as much as I want her back, but there’s nothing I can do, I feel like I’m the worst person, even though I know there were things that we couldn’t give her and that it was safer for her to find a new home, I just can’t stop this constant pain and upset, and people around me seem to just say we have to get on with it and think of our memories as positive and not something to cry about, but it’s only been three days, I can’t be okay yet, and I feel bad that I’m feeling upset because I feel I’m bringing everyone else down. Will things get better? Will I be able to look at photos of her and think of her without crying one day? Should I feel bad for being upset? I’m so sorry to anyone else who is dealing with this pain, I hope that things get better for you all.
View CommentThank you for posting this. I am in the possible process of rehoming my beloved 2 year old cat. I’ve tried rehoming him in the past, but I always change my mind last minute and give him one more chance…he’s had about 7 “one more chances”. He has had behavioral issues for 9 months now. I’ve taken him to vets, spent thousands and they all say there is nothing medically wrong with him. I’ve worked with behaviorists. I’ve tried calming collars, Feliway, calming chews, adding more litter boxes, adding in more play time. I’m not being dramatic when I say this cat has turned my family’s life upside down these past 9 months. He has sprayed and peed on everything possible. Our beds, pillows, blankets, counter tops, my husband’s nightstand, our fridge, our toaster…I think the worst was when I smelled something weird and realized he had sprayed against an outlet in our closet. Or it could have been the day I came home late after being away for the day and went to get into bed and my side of the bed was completely peed on…I slept on the couch that night and just cried. And as bad as he’s been, I still love the little guy and it’s breaking my heart to think of getting rid of him. But my family and I are constantly arguing and cleaning… we don’t even spend time as a family anymore because our days are typically spent cleaning pee and spray. I feel horrible thinking of rehoming him, but I also know my family needs relief from this cat. Thank you for this article and thank you to anyone who read my comment and heard my story. It’s been hard.
View CommentThis is an update to my comment from a few days ago. I decided it was in my family’s best interest to rehome the cat I talked about in my original comment. I am heartbroken and cannot stop crying. It’s so much harder to rehome than for a pet to pass away, in my opinion. When a pet passes away, it’s something that was out of your hands, but with rehoming a pet, you live with the guilt of “did I do the right thing?”, “am I a bad person for not trying hard enough to keep this pet?” And “could I have done more to keep the pet?”. The whole thing has left me feeling like a really bad person, like I never deserve to have a pet ever again. Even though we tried everything with this cat and his spraying was becoming dangerous (like when he sprayed an electric outlet), I still wonder if I could have tried more or did something else…. was there something I was missing to try? I worry that my other cats will miss him, but it was becoming a problem to keep him. Our lives revolved around cleaning up spray and we were constantly arguing. We spent thousands on specialists and products, not to mention thousands to replace things that were destroyed. After 9 months, I honestly didn’t know what else to do, so rehoming was the only feasible option for us. Anyone going through this, just know you’re not alone and it’s hard!
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