Not every bond between humans and our fellow animals is easy. 

Some animals come into our lives with big feelings, complex needs, or past experiences that shape how they move through the world. They might be reactive or fearful or have health challenges that affect their behaviour. Or they might struggle to adjust to the routines of domestic human life (often, when an animal is dubbed “difficult”, it’s because their behaviour doesn’t fit with current human society). 

Thinking of your own animal friend, they may have needed medication, special care, or ongoing behaviour management, which added extra pressure points or complications to your shared days. Their needs might have dictated where you went, who you saw, who was able to visit your home, how much sleep you got, and how you lived. 

And still, you loved them. You loved them with your whole heart and soul, perhaps because your bond was hard won, messy at times, and completely one of a kind. 

If you’re grieving an animal friend who was considered “difficult” – whether due to behaviour, health, or emotional challenges – we are so sorry for your loss. 

When the relationship was complicated 

Sometimes the love we feel for an animal companion lives side by side with frustration, fear, or exhaustion. Maybe your animal friend growled, hissed, scratched, or bit. Maybe they destroyed furniture, showed aggression toward other animals, or were constantly on edge. Perhaps they had complex health needs that left you managing intensive care routines or responding to crises at all hours. 

While dogs are often the focus in conversations like this, animals from almost any species can be dubbed “difficult” or “challenging” for one reason or another. 

Cats may struggle with anxiety or react unpredictably. Rabbits and small animals can be skittish, difficult to handle, or show aggression, especially if they weren’t well-socialised or introduced to human contact early in life (this isn’t always a deciding factor, but it can be).  

Birds can be loud, destructive, or territorial. Reptiles may need extremely specific care that is hard to get right. And horses – sensitive, intelligent beings that they are – can be challenging to handle if they exhibit behaviours like bolting, biting, or refusing to be caught, which can be dangerous and emotionally draining for their carers. 

None of this means you loved them any less. It simply means your relationship required a different kind of patience, a different kind of energy, and a different level of understanding. And when that relationship ends – through illness, accident, old age, rehoming, or behavioural euthanasia – the grief can feel especially layered. 

When you were part of the inner circle 

Let’s also take a moment to acknowledge how life-changing a relationship with a so-called “difficult” animal can be.  

There is something so profoundly special about being in their inner circle. You may have been one of the few people they trusted, the one who got to see behind the fear or reactivity to the softness underneath. You knew their quirks, the look they gave you when they were curious or unsure, the tiny ways they showed affection that others might never have noticed.  

Being their safe space may have been hard at times, but it was also a privilege.  

Sometimes we end up loving our more challenging companions even more fiercely than our laid-back friends. Because, while it wasn’t always easy, we saw who they really were (and they saw us too).  

This partnership taught us patience, resilience, empathy, and what it means to be truly chosen. 

You may find it helpful to read our blog about loving a reactive dog, where we explore the emotional toll and beauty of these kinds of bonds. 

What you might be feeling 

You might be feeling guilt, sadness, confusion, or relief. You might be grieving the loss of a daily routine that, although difficult, gave shape and meaning to your life. You might miss their presence even if it was unpredictable or overwhelming.  

Or you may be experiencing complex emotions that are difficult to express in words. 

You might also feel shame for feeling angry sometimes, for resenting the situation, or for struggling with the emotional and physical toll of caring for your animal friend during the hard times. You may be haunted by decisions you made, especially if you had to say goodbye in circumstances that didn’t feel ideal. 

Please know these emotions are human. They don’t cancel out the love. It is possible to feel deep sorrow and a sense of relief. To feel heartbreak and peace. To miss them and remember the struggle.

When people say the wrong things 

Grieving the loss of a “difficult” animal friend can be especially painful when others don’t understand. Well-meaning people might say things like, “At least you can have a break now,” or “At least life will be easier,” as if your animal companion was more burden than blessing. 

Even if you had moments of thinking those things yourself, hearing them from someone else can feel like a dismissal of everything you shared, including the effort, growth, and love. It can make the grief feel invisible. 

The truth is, many guardians of complex animals would give anything for one more day, one more moment, even with all the challenges. Because the difficult moments were just one part of a bigger picture, which included a bond built on deep trust, hard-won progress, and unconditional care. 

If you’re feeling hurt by what others have said – or not said – please know that your grief is valid. You don’t need anyone else’s permission to mourn. You knew the full story, and you’re allowed to grieve it fully. 

If behavioural euthanasia was part of the story 

Some guardians reach a point where safety, suffering, or quality of life means making the painful decision to say goodbye. If you had to make that decision due to behavioural challenges, please know that you are not alone. 

This kind of loss carries a very particular weight. It may be hard to talk about. Others may not understand and can be quick to share their opinions. You may question whether you tried hard enough, whether you loved deeply enough, or whether you gave enough chances. 

But you did what you could, with the information and resources you had, at the time you had to make the decision. Most guardians only consider behavioural euthanasia when every other medical and behavioural option has been considered. That deserves gentleness.  

You gave your animal friend time, effort, care, and love, before making a decision that was rooted in compassion, not convenience. That matters. 

If the story came to a natural end 

Even if your animal friend died of natural causes, it doesn’t mean the story was simple. You may have experienced years of navigating challenges (such as helping them feel safe to be examined by a vet), rebuilding trust, adapting to setbacks, and learning along the way. Perhaps you made mistakes and carry regrets, but hopefully, you also carry pride in how far you both came. 

The end of a long, sometimes fraught relationship can bring space for reflection. You might find yourself replaying memories, noticing both the hard and the beautiful moments. Let yourself honour all of it, from the missteps to the milestones. You will always remember the path you walked together. 

Coping with this kind of grief 

Here are a few ways you might support yourself: 

• Be honest with yourself. You can love someone and still find them hard to live with. It doesn’t make your grief any less real, and it doesn’t mean you loved them any less than if things had always been easy. 

• Write a letter. Express everything you feel – the good, the hard, the in-between. Let the complexity out. 

• Talk to someone who understands. If you can, connect with a friend or even a counsellor who knows this kind of loss. 

• Create a ritual. Light a candle, say their name, or create a small memory space. Honour their life as it was. 

• Make space for mixed emotions. Try not to judge yourself for what you feel, even if those feelings shift from one day to the next. 

• Acknowledge what you gave. Time, patience, adaptation, and resilience are all acts of love. 

Grief isn’t just for the easy relationships. It’s for the messy, complicated, real ones too. 

You loved them 

You showed up for your animal friend when they needed you. You adapted, you learned, you tried. And whether you felt connected every day or struggled sometimes to understand each other, the love you gave counts. 

You don’t have to tidy your grief into a neat box, nor do you have to justify the pain. Just let it breathe. 

Your animal friend was one of a kind, and your love for them was, too. 

Shailen and The Ralph Site team  
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support  

Sometimes, pet loss grief takes us by surprise.  

We expect it to feel overwhelming when we lose a long-term animal friend – someone who shared years of our lives, who knew our routines and moods, who felt like a part of the family. 

But what if the bond hadn’t fully formed yet? 

What if you’re grieving the loss of a newly adopted dog or cat (or any other species), a foster animal, or an animal companion you were caring for temporarily – and you weren’t expecting to feel so much? 

You might be left with a confusing mix of sadness, guilt, anxiety, or even embarrassment about how much you’ve been impacted by this loss. Maybe you’re wondering, “Do I have the right to feel this upset?”  

The short answer is: Yes, you do. 

Grief isn’t proportionate to the time spent together 

Emotional bonds don’t always need years to form or matter. Sometimes, an animal companion can touch our hearts in days, hours, or even moments. You might have been imagining a future with them – one that now feels stolen. 

Connection can form quickly, especially if you’re a compassionate, empathetic person. When we welcome a new furry or feathered friend into our lives, we open ourselves up to caring deeply. That willingness to love and protect creates a bond, even if it hasn’t had time to deepen fully. 

Perhaps you felt protective the moment your animal friend arrived, especially if they were nervous, unwell, very young or very old, missing a previous caregiver, or recovering from past trauma. Maybe you found yourself constantly checking on them, adjusting your routines to meet their needs, or feeling joy when they began to trust you, even just a little. 

These small, quiet interactions matter. They lay the foundation for a relationship that would have grown over time. And when that possibility is taken away suddenly, the grief can feel like a rupture. 

Guilt, confusion, and the emotional weight of grief 

Unexpected grief in situations where the bond is new and developing often comes tangled with guilt and confusion. You might wonder: 

• Did I do enough for them? 

• Should I have bonded with them more quickly? 

• Why am I this upset when I barely knew them? 

There might be things that you regret, such as not taking more photos, not recognising symptoms sooner (this might have happened because you didn’t know what was ‘normal’ for your new companion), or not giving them more of your attention in the short time you shared – even though you probably spent every minute with them that you could. 

This kind of grief can feel especially raw because it includes the pain of unrealised potential. You were just beginning to learn about each other, just starting to make space in your life and heart – and now that space feels hollow. 

You may feel sadness, guilt, shock, helplessness, or a sense of yearning for what could have been. You might also feel emotionally conflicted, especially if you took in this animal friend on a short-term basis or weren’t sure yet how you felt. 

All these emotions are valid. 

Be gentle with yourself. Love often grows in quiet ways, and we don’t always realise how deep the roots are until we feel the absence. 

Invisible grief 

One of the hardest parts about this kind of loss is that it can feel invisible to others – another form of disenfranchised grief. 

You might not have shared many updates about this animal friend. There might be no collar to tuck away, no favourite toy to place on a shelf. People around you might not even know you were caring for them. 

Even if your network did know, they may not understand your feelings about losing this new animal companion, especially if they only view time spent together as a measure of connection. 

These circumstances can make your grief feel lonely. 

But just because a loss isn’t widely recognised doesn’t make it any less real. You’re allowed to mourn the relationship you were still building. The moments you won’t get to share. The hopes you quietly carried. 

Ways to honour the connection and cope with the pain 

Even if your time together was brief, you can still honour the bond you had – or the bond that was beginning. 

Some people find comfort in: 

• Writing a letter to their animal friend 

• Creating a small memory space, even if it’s just a photo and a candle 

• Talking to someone who understands animal loss 

• Journaling about what this loss has brought up 

• Donating in their name to a rescue or foster organisation 

• Naming your feelings and acknowledging that grief doesn’t require a long history 

• Visualising your animal companion by your side, offering comfort 

It can also help to find small ways to soothe your nervous system. Gentle walks, warm baths, time in nature, or spending time with other animals can bring a sense of calm. If you feel overwhelmed or stuck, speaking with a grief counsellor or therapist can offer support. 

Sometimes, telling your story to someone who will simply listen is one of the most healing things you can do – a lot of people do this in The Ralph Site’s private Facebook group. 

Grief is grief 

Whether you had a lifetime with your animal friend or just a few short days, grief is grief. It doesn’t need to be earned. It doesn’t need permission. 

You opened your heart to them. That counts. And if you’re hurting, it’s because love was there – or growing. 

Let yourself grieve. Let yourself remember. The bond may not have been fully formed, but the love was real. And that is always worth honouring. 

Shailen and The Ralph Site team  
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support  

Some animal friends do more than offer love and companionship. They become our safe place. They help us survive things we don’t know how to explain, things we might not have survived otherwise. 

If you’ve lost an animal friend like this, someone who might be termed a “trauma companion”, then your grief may feel especially deep, complicated, or raw. You might not know how to begin untangling it. And that’s OK. 

More than a companion 

For people who live with trauma, anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, an animal companion can offer something few humans can: consistent, unconditional presence. 

Maybe your dog lay across your chest during panic attacks, grounding you and helping you breathe. Maybe your cat curled up beside you when no one else knew you were hurting, staying close without needing you to explain. Maybe your rabbit, guinea pig, snake, or bird gave you a reason to get out of bed each day, reminding you that your presence mattered. 

These animal friends become emotional anchors. Their routines give us structure. Their physical presence helps regulate our nervous systems. The sound of their breathing, the weight of their body, the feel of their fur or feathers against our skin can all bring a powerful sense of security, calm and connection. 

When you’ve experienced trauma, the world can feel unpredictable and unsafe. An animal companion often brings reliability and peace in a way that builds trust over time. Their companionship might feel like the only part of life that made sense. 

It’s not “just” grief 

If your furry, feathered or scaly friend was part of your healing journey, losing them might feel like losing part of yourself. You may feel as though the progress you’d made is slipping away, like you’re back in the darkest place you ever were. You might even feel ashamed for struggling so deeply. 

But please know, you’re not going backwards. 

Grief is not a sign that you’re broken, that your feelings are unusual, or that you won’t find a way to move forwards. It’s a sign of the depth of your connection. 

You are grieving a very real, very significant loss. One that touches parts of you that other people may never see. One that deserves space and compassion. 

You don’t have to justify your pain. It matters. 

What makes it harder 

Sometimes, the people around us don’t understand the grief of losing an animal companion. They may say things like: “It was just a dog”, “You can get another one”, or “At least it wasn’t a person”. 

Comments like these can feel dismissive or even cruel, especially when your animal friend was your emotional lifeline. They weren’t an “it”, an item to be replaced like a mobile phone or a piece of furniture; they were a sentient being, a once-in-existence individual, and they deserve to be remembered as such. 

On top of that, the grief of losing them might stir up other pain. Their death may reactivate old wounds or unresolved trauma. You might feel abandoned all over again. You might find yourself revisiting past losses, childhood grief, or times you felt unseen or unsupported. Please know that this “normal” (if there is such a thing!) 

Grief rarely arrives in neat packages. It tends to show up in waves, and it often carries echoes from other times in your life – the ‘Ball in the Box’ analogy explains this brilliantly. 

How to cope: gentle steps forward 

Grief after losing a trauma companion can feel overwhelming, even terrifying. But there are ways to support yourself through it. 

Here are some ideas that might help: 

• Allow yourself to feel. Try not to rush your grief or push it aside. Cry if you need to. Sit in silence. Name your feelings without judgement. All of it is valid. 

• Create a grief ritual. Light a candle in their memory. Write them a letter. Talk to them out loud. Rituals can offer comfort and a sense of connection. 

• Keep a journal. Record memories, emotions, and anything else that helps you express what you’re going through. Writing can provide clarity and relief. 

• Speak with a therapist. A counsellor, particularly one trained in trauma, grief and/or pet loss, can help you process your loss in a safe, supportive space. 

• Reach out to others. Consider joining a grief group (in person or online) or connecting with others who understand what it’s like to lose an animal companion who helped them through trauma.  

• Create something lasting. A scrapbook, a memorial, a piece of art, or a donation in their name can offer a sense of legacy and continuity. 

• Visualise your animal friend by your side. Some people find comfort in imagining their beloved companion sitting beside them, offering silent support. Even though your animal friend is no longer physically present, picturing them nearby can help you feel grounded, supported, and less alone. 

• Spend time with nature or other animals. If and when it feels right, being with other living beings or in calming environments may soothe your nervous system. 

Some people find it helpful to make a plan for how you want to handle the tough moments: anniversaries, certain times of day, or routines that now feel empty. Having supportive people on standby, comforting activities lined up, or even calming breathing exercises can ease the intensity. 

You are not alone 

If your animal companion was your safe place, grieving them can feel like the ground has shifted beneath you. It can be isolating, especially if others don’t understand. 

But please know, you are not alone. 

Many people have experienced this kind of loss. It’s profound. It’s real. And it matters. 

Your animal friend saw you in your hardest moments and stayed by your side. They made a difference in your life. Their love doesn’t disappear. It lives on in your heart, your memories, and the strength they helped you find. 

Shailen and The Ralph Site team 
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support 

If you’re reading this article because you’re grieving the loss of a cat, first let us say that we’re sorry for your loss. 

Cats are enigmatic, affectionate, and more than a bit magical. They have a way of weaving themselves into the fabric of our lives, curling up in our hearts as easily as they curl up on our laps. From their mischievous antics to their quiet companionship, cats enrich our lives in countless ways. Losing them can leave a profound emptiness that’s hard to put into words. 

The unique bond with cats 

The quote below comes from Matt Haig’s novel, The Life Impossible, and sums up perfectly why the love of a cat is so special. 

“I know there is a common misconception that cats are somehow less loving than dogs. This is nonsense. The love a cat can give you is sudden and warm. It is just that a cat’s love comes completely free of any moral or ethical principles. It is love for the hell of it. It is an entirely recreational love. In-the-moment love. But it is still, somehow, love.” 

Cats are known for their independence, but the bond they form with their humans is extraordinary. When you’re the focus of happy purring, kneading, slow blinks, gift giving (albeit, sometimes unwanted gifts!), or their gentle presence, it’s such a privilege. They choose us, and their love often feels earned, making it all the more special. 

When they’re gone, it’s not just their physical presence we miss but this quiet sense of acceptance, understanding, and fully requited love.  

Cats often know when we’re feeling down and find subtle ways to comfort us. It takes time to process that loss of solace. If possible, try to share your grief with friends, family, or pet loss communities who can offer support and validation. Sharing your memories and talking about your cat’s unique personality can be a healing way to honour them while helping others understand your grief. 

Missing their presence 

There will be many ways that you miss your cat’s presence. 

Whether they had a habit of curling up beside you, greeting you at the door after work, stealing your pillow at night, or simply being a comforting presence in your home, it’s understandable if their absence has left an enormous void. 

The routines you shared – feeding times, morning cuddles, evening play sessions – may now feel painfully empty. Even the small, quiet moments, like the sound of their purr or the sight of them basking in a sunbeam, are deeply missed. 

It can be helpful to honour these routines in a new way. Perhaps you can set aside time to reflect on happy memories or create a meaningful habit to mark the significant moments in each day. Grieving takes time and how you find comfort is a deeply personal process. 

When a cat leaves us: age, illness, and the unexpected 

Cats have the potential to live long and fulfilling lives, often reaching their late teens or even early twenties with good care and good fortune. This longevity means they become deeply woven into our daily routines and family life, making their absence even more profound.  

After so many years of shared experiences, the loss of a long-lived cat can feel like saying goodbye to a lifelong friend, leaving a space that time alone can’t easily fill. 

And let’s not forget that cats are masters of disguise when it comes to their health, often hiding signs of illness until it’s too late to intervene. This can leave you questioning whether you could or should have done more.  

If you had to make the decision to help your cat pass peacefully, you might be grappling with feelings of doubt or guilt over the timing. 

Sometimes, the loss of a cat comes in sudden and tragic ways. Cats are natural explorers, and their independent nature often leads them outdoors, where risks such as traffic or becoming lost are present.  

Losing a cat to an accident, or having a cat go missing without closure, can intensify feelings of guilt, helplessness, and grief. In these situations, it’s important to remind yourself that you provided a loving home and allowed your feline friend the freedom to live as their curious, adventurous self. 

Whatever the circumstances, you only ever acted out of love and with the best intentions. Your cat was loved, and that’s what matters most.

The emotional and physical symptoms of grief 

Grief is never simple, and when it comes to losing a cat, it can stir up a range of emotions. You might feel sadness, guilt, anger, disbelief, or even relief if your cat had been ill for some time.  

These feelings are all part of the grieving process and will depend on your unique circumstances. 

Grief doesn’t just affect your emotions; it takes a toll on the body too. You might notice changes in your sleep, appetite, concentration, or energy levels. It’s important to listen to your body and give yourself permission to rest and recover. 

Take things one step at a time. Gentle exercise, nourishing meals, and moments of quiet reflection can help you find balance. And remember, it’s OK to seek help if you’re struggling – you don’t have to face grief alone. 

Finding support 

If you’re finding it hard to cope, know that there are people and resources to support you. Pet loss helplines, grief counsellors, and online communities like The Ralph Site’s Facebook group can provide a safe space to share your feelings and find understanding. 

Grief can feel isolating, but you are not alone. Many others understand the pain of losing a cat and can offer empathy and support.

Memorialising your cat 

If you’re looking for a comforting way to process your grief and celebrate your cat’s life, then you might want to create a memorial. This could be a photo album, a piece of artwork, or planting a tree or flowers in their honour. Some people find solace in keeping a favourite toy or collar as a keepsake.

Writing about your cat – their quirks, the joy they brought, the ways they made you laugh – can also be a healing exercise. These tributes serve as a reminder of the happiness they brought into your life and keep their memory alive.

It can also be helpful to create new rituals to maintain a sense of connection and continue your bond with your feline friend. This might include lighting a candle for them, spending time in a favourite spot where they loved to nap, or journaling your feelings about them.  

Remembering the joy 

In the early stages of grief, it can be hard to focus on anything but the loss. Over time, though, the memories of your cat’s life will start to shine brighter than the pain of their passing. You’ll remember the way they made you smile, the comfort they brought, the quirks that were unique to them, and the unconditional love they gave. 

For now, be gentle with yourself. Grieve in your own way and at your own pace. Your cat was one of a kind, and the love you shared will always be a part of you. 

Shailen and The Ralph Site team 
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support 

If you’ve come to this article because you’re grieving the loss of a dog, let us first say how sorry we are for your loss. 

Dogs are packed full of personality and an endless source of unconditional love. They are our family members, our best friends, our closest confidants, eternally child-like, and yet wise beyond words. No wonder we miss them so much when they’re gone. 

Losing a dog is never easy. In fact, it can be just as devastating as losing a human loved one. 

Grief, guilt, and other emotions 

You probably expected to feel sad about the loss of your canine companion, but you may also be feeling emotions such as guilt, anger, bewilderment, denial, numbness, and anxiety, depending on your individual circumstances. This can be hard to process, but all these emotions – and more! – are very much part of grief. 

Guilt, in particular, seems to be a core part of pet loss grief, probably because our animal friends are not able to tell us how they feel or what they want.  

If your dog died suddenly, you may be asking yourself whether you missed important signs that they were ill or injured. If they’ve been ill for a while, you may wonder whether you did enough to support them. If they were young, you may feel responsible for the life they won’t live. If you had to choose euthanasia to end your dog’s suffering, you may feel that you did it too soon or not soon enough. 

Having heard from thousands of bereaved pet carers via The Ralph Site, it’s safe to say that almost everyone wrestles with difficult thoughts of one kind or another when a pet dies. It’s the brain trying to make sense of an unimaginable loss. 

Please be kind to yourself. Whatever the circumstances, we know you did the very best for your dog. If love could save them, they would have lived forever. 

Feeling unseen in your grief 

Losing a dog is often devastating, but you might be finding it hard to express your grief. Sadly, people are often quick to ask bereaved dog parents when they plan to get another dog or dismiss the loss as “only a dog”. This can be hurtful. You know only too well that every dog has a unique, irreplaceable personality. Your furry best friend was never only a dog. 

It’s our belief at The Ralph Site that people don’t mean to be dismissive. Asking if you plan to welcome another dog into your life generally comes from a recognition that loving a dog is important to you and a huge part of your life. 

Still, such comments are painful. Pet loss is often described as a disenfranchised grief because it isn’t necessarily recognised across our society, other than by people who have experienced their own bereavement.  

We understand that your dog mattered in so many wonderful and varied ways. They were a once-in-existence individual, and we are glad you had the joy of knowing each other. 

Loss of routine and social contact 

Your dog’s daily care, walks, and playtimes will have been a significant part of your life. You may have friends you met on walks together, or even a trusted dog walker or groomer who was part of your dog’s inner circle. Right now, you may feel like they have disappeared from your life too or that you’ve lost part of your identity. 

Losing a dog often results in many secondary losses – routines, people, places. The absence of these can leave a significant void and make the grieving process even more difficult. 

Maintaining routine 

To cope with the loss of routine, many dog carers find it helpful to maintain some aspect of the activities they used to do with their dog. This might help you too.  

Even if you can’t face your dog’s favourite walks, you could try exploring new places at the times you used to walk with them. Alternatively, you could explore favourite places at different times of the day,  

If you want to see your dog-walking friends, head out to meet them. They will hopefully give you comfort and support and remind you of all the special memories you hold of your dog. 

At your dog’s usual playtime, how about doing something that you find playful or enriching? This could be listening to music, doing something creative, cooking, dancing – the choice is yours. 

Don’t be afraid to experiment and explore what works for you.  

Finding new social connections 

We recognise that dogs often serve as social bridges, helping us connect with other dog guardians and animal lovers. Losing this social contact can be isolating. To fill this gap, consider joining local dog-walking groups, volunteering at rescue centres, or participating in community events related to pets.  

These activities can help you meet new people who share your love for animals and provide a sense of belonging.

The physical and emotional impact of grief 

Grieving isn’t just emotional – it can take a toll on your body too. You might notice that you’re feeling more tired than usual, struggling to concentrate, or that your sleep patterns or appetite have changed. These are all normal responses to loss. 

Try to be kind to yourself during this time. Rest when you need to, eat nourishing foods, and take things at your own pace. 

Grief isn’t linear, and it doesn’t have a set timeline. Some days may feel harder than others, and you may find that your feelings resurface unexpectedly, even years later. This doesn’t mean you’re not healing – it’s simply a reflection of the love you shared. 

Supporting children through grief 

If you have children, you might be navigating their grief as well as your own. Children often grieve differently from adults, and they may have lots of questions or strong emotions about the loss of your beloved dog. 

Encourage them to talk about their feelings and share their memories. Creative activities, such as drawing pictures of your dog, writing a story about them, or making a scrapbook, can help children process their emotions and remember the happy times. 

Reassure them that it’s OK to feel sad, angry, or confused – and that it’s also OK to smile or laugh at the silly, wonderful things your dog used to do. 

Memorialising your dog 

Every human culture has rituals to help people navigate the loss of a loved one, and there’s no reason you can’t adapt these rituals for your amazing dog. 

Creating a memorial of some sort can be a genuine source of comfort and a way to channel your grief. You might choose to create a photo book of your favourite moments together, plant a tree in your dog’s memory, or keep their collar or tag as a keepsake. Only you know what feels right for you and your family. 

Some people find solace in holding a small ceremony or writing a letter to their dog, expressing their love and gratitude for the joy they brought into their lives. These rituals can help you feel close to them even though they’re no longer physically with you. 

Deciding whether to get another dog 

You may already be wondering whether you’ll get another dog one day, or perhaps someone has suggested it to you (as we mentioned above, this is a common question from people who are trying to be comforting!).  

Please know that there’s no right or wrong answer to this question, and the timing will depend on what feels right for you. Some people discover they just can’t live without a dog as part of their family, while others decide it’s time to focus on other areas of their life. Either way, it’s your decision to make. 

Welcoming a new dog into your life doesn’t mean replacing the one you’ve lost. It’s a way of continuing the love you shared, carrying forward the lessons your beloved dog taught you, and opening your heart to new experiences. 

For now, it’s OK to take your time. Grief is a journey, not a race. 

Seeking professional support 

Sometimes grief can feel overwhelming. If you find that you’re struggling to cope, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. There are therapists and counsellors who specialise in pet loss and can help you work through your feelings in a safe, supportive space. 

The Blue Cross’s pet bereavement support service or The Ralph Site’s private Facebook group are two examples of safe spaces to talk about your loss. 

You might also find other articles and resources about pet loss grief helpful (you can find a whole host of topics here on The Ralph Site blog). Sometimes, it’s comforting just to know that you’re not alone. 

Finding hope and healing 

In the early days of grief, it might feel impossible to imagine a time when the pain will ease. Grief can leave us trapped in the moment of loss, reliving it repeatedly. But it’s important to remember that the moment you parted is just one page in the story of your dog’s life. Yes, they died, but they lived too – goodness, they lived! 

Over time, the sharp edges of loss tend to soften, leaving behind a treasure trove of loving memories that you’ll carry with you always.  

For now, take things one day at a time and let yourself grieve in whatever way feels right for you. The love you shared with your dog is still there and always will be. 

Shailen and The Ralph Site team 
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support