Comment on Life after euthanasia for bereaved pet carers by Sophie.

I had to euthanise my 20 year old cat last wednesday.
He was hyperthyroid and very skinny i was always worried that one day i would wake up and he would lie dead somewhere. Last tuesday he came greeting me at the backdoor and he was walking like he was drunk his body tilted and then he fell. I had to pick him up to get him to his eating bowl… i was scared to leave him alone.
So i decided that it was time for him to rest, i slept with him on the sofa downstairs for his last night. All cuddled up, i love the smell of his paws and he always held my arm with his two paws. I have had many cats but Ziggy was special, he was run over by a car when he was 3 years old. I went to the veterinarian hospital where they reconstructed one leg. My family was laughing at me, how could i spend so much money on just a cat. But i got to keep a happy cat that was Sophie greatful he behaved more like a dog. Even when i was on the toilet he opened the door and sat on my lap.
When the vet came to euthanize him, he litterally had a fight with the vet. And now i think he didnt want to go, that i acted to quickly… but i couldnt watch him falling over, he deserved peace. He was 20 and had been sick for a year…
I cant help but feel guilty, the house is so empty without him, although i have 2 other cats. But like i said Ziggy was special❤️