If you’ve come to this article because you’re grieving the loss of a dog, let us first say how sorry we are for your loss. 

Dogs are packed full of personality and an endless source of unconditional love. They are our family members, our best friends, our closest confidants, eternally child-like, and yet wise beyond words. No wonder we miss them so much when they’re gone. 

Losing a dog is never easy. In fact, it can be just as devastating as losing a human loved one. 

Grief, guilt, and other emotions 

You probably expected to feel sad about the loss of your canine companion, but you may also be feeling emotions such as guilt, anger, bewilderment, denial, numbness, and anxiety, depending on your individual circumstances. This can be hard to process, but all these emotions – and more! – are very much part of grief. 

Guilt, in particular, seems to be a core part of pet loss grief, probably because our animal friends are not able to tell us how they feel or what they want.  

If your dog died suddenly, you may be asking yourself whether you missed important signs that they were ill or injured. If they’ve been ill for a while, you may wonder whether you did enough to support them. If they were young, you may feel responsible for the life they won’t live. If you had to choose euthanasia to end your dog’s suffering, you may feel that you did it too soon or not soon enough. 

Having heard from thousands of bereaved pet carers via The Ralph Site, it’s safe to say that almost everyone wrestles with difficult thoughts of one kind or another when a pet dies. It’s the brain trying to make sense of an unimaginable loss. 

Please be kind to yourself. Whatever the circumstances, we know you did the very best for your dog. If love could save them, they would have lived forever. 

Feeling unseen in your grief 

Losing a dog is often devastating, but you might be finding it hard to express your grief. Sadly, people are often quick to ask bereaved dog parents when they plan to get another dog or dismiss the loss as “only a dog”. This can be hurtful. You know only too well that every dog has a unique, irreplaceable personality. Your furry best friend was never only a dog. 

It’s our belief at The Ralph Site that people don’t mean to be dismissive. Asking if you plan to welcome another dog into your life generally comes from a recognition that loving a dog is important to you and a huge part of your life. 

Still, such comments are painful. Pet loss is often described as a disenfranchised grief because it isn’t necessarily recognised across our society, other than by people who have experienced their own bereavement.  

We understand that your dog mattered in so many wonderful and varied ways. They were a once-in-existence individual, and we are glad you had the joy of knowing each other. 

Loss of routine and social contact 

Your dog’s daily care, walks, and playtimes will have been a significant part of your life. You may have friends you met on walks together, or even a trusted dog walker or groomer who was part of your dog’s inner circle. Right now, you may feel like they have disappeared from your life too or that you’ve lost part of your identity. 

Losing a dog often results in many secondary losses – routines, people, places. The absence of these can leave a significant void and make the grieving process even more difficult. 

Maintaining routine 

To cope with the loss of routine, many dog carers find it helpful to maintain some aspect of the activities they used to do with their dog. This might help you too.  

Even if you can’t face your dog’s favourite walks, you could try exploring new places at the times you used to walk with them. Alternatively, you could explore favourite places at different times of the day,  

If you want to see your dog-walking friends, head out to meet them. They will hopefully give you comfort and support and remind you of all the special memories you hold of your dog. 

At your dog’s usual playtime, how about doing something that you find playful or enriching? This could be listening to music, doing something creative, cooking, dancing – the choice is yours. 

Don’t be afraid to experiment and explore what works for you.  

Finding new social connections 

We recognise that dogs often serve as social bridges, helping us connect with other dog guardians and animal lovers. Losing this social contact can be isolating. To fill this gap, consider joining local dog-walking groups, volunteering at rescue centres, or participating in community events related to pets.  

These activities can help you meet new people who share your love for animals and provide a sense of belonging.

The physical and emotional impact of grief 

Grieving isn’t just emotional – it can take a toll on your body too. You might notice that you’re feeling more tired than usual, struggling to concentrate, or that your sleep patterns or appetite have changed. These are all normal responses to loss. 

Try to be kind to yourself during this time. Rest when you need to, eat nourishing foods, and take things at your own pace. 

Grief isn’t linear, and it doesn’t have a set timeline. Some days may feel harder than others, and you may find that your feelings resurface unexpectedly, even years later. This doesn’t mean you’re not healing – it’s simply a reflection of the love you shared. 

Supporting children through grief 

If you have children, you might be navigating their grief as well as your own. Children often grieve differently from adults, and they may have lots of questions or strong emotions about the loss of your beloved dog. 

Encourage them to talk about their feelings and share their memories. Creative activities, such as drawing pictures of your dog, writing a story about them, or making a scrapbook, can help children process their emotions and remember the happy times. 

Reassure them that it’s OK to feel sad, angry, or confused – and that it’s also OK to smile or laugh at the silly, wonderful things your dog used to do. 

Memorialising your dog 

Every human culture has rituals to help people navigate the loss of a loved one, and there’s no reason you can’t adapt these rituals for your amazing dog. 

Creating a memorial of some sort can be a genuine source of comfort and a way to channel your grief. You might choose to create a photo book of your favourite moments together, plant a tree in your dog’s memory, or keep their collar or tag as a keepsake. Only you know what feels right for you and your family. 

Some people find solace in holding a small ceremony or writing a letter to their dog, expressing their love and gratitude for the joy they brought into their lives. These rituals can help you feel close to them even though they’re no longer physically with you. 

Deciding whether to get another dog 

You may already be wondering whether you’ll get another dog one day, or perhaps someone has suggested it to you (as we mentioned above, this is a common question from people who are trying to be comforting!).  

Please know that there’s no right or wrong answer to this question, and the timing will depend on what feels right for you. Some people discover they just can’t live without a dog as part of their family, while others decide it’s time to focus on other areas of their life. Either way, it’s your decision to make. 

Welcoming a new dog into your life doesn’t mean replacing the one you’ve lost. It’s a way of continuing the love you shared, carrying forward the lessons your beloved dog taught you, and opening your heart to new experiences. 

For now, it’s OK to take your time. Grief is a journey, not a race. 

Seeking professional support 

Sometimes grief can feel overwhelming. If you find that you’re struggling to cope, it’s important to know that you’re not alone. There are therapists and counsellors who specialise in pet loss and can help you work through your feelings in a safe, supportive space. 

The Blue Cross’s pet bereavement support service or The Ralph Site’s private Facebook group are two examples of safe spaces to talk about your loss. 

You might also find other articles and resources about pet loss grief helpful (you can find a whole host of topics here on The Ralph Site blog). Sometimes, it’s comforting just to know that you’re not alone. 

Finding hope and healing 

In the early days of grief, it might feel impossible to imagine a time when the pain will ease. Grief can leave us trapped in the moment of loss, reliving it repeatedly. But it’s important to remember that the moment you parted is just one page in the story of your dog’s life. Yes, they died, but they lived too – goodness, they lived! 

Over time, the sharp edges of loss tend to soften, leaving behind a treasure trove of loving memories that you’ll carry with you always.  

For now, take things one day at a time and let yourself grieve in whatever way feels right for you. The love you shared with your dog is still there and always will be. 

Shailen and The Ralph Site team 
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support