Comment on Loving a reactive dog means grieving the dog you thought you would have by anonymous.

I feel completely trapped for the next 10-14 years with the puppy I knew would be my last and I wanted the temperament for a visiting therapy dog for my last. I did all the tests possible at the breeder’s (using Sophia Yin’s checklists as a guide) and she passed with flying colors, unlike a littermate who displayed red flags. My puppy displayed signs of separation anxiety on the second day and I’ve been working with professionals certified in separation anxiety since she was 4 months old, a veterinary behaviorist since she was 1.5 years old. She didn’t show signs if reactivity until 2 years of age, so I was optimistic that even if there was limited progress with the separation anxiety, at least we could have a life by leaving her with others. Her separation anxiety makes that unappealing or unaffordable for those willing to care for her. The reactivity now interferes with our ability to enjoy a dinner with friends at an outdoor restaurant because of the management required. She has not responded to meds as expected and we are nearly out of meds options. I thought we could deal with the separation anxiety by taking her places in a bag. I never expected reactivity after 2 years without it, which effectively rules out that option. She’s a wonderful dog inside our house as the only dog when I am in the house, but we have no life and it does not look like there’s any hope after 3 years of the best professional help. So yes, I am grieving.