Here at The Ralph Site, we understand all too well the intense feelings of pain, guilt and loss that can accompany the passing of a furry friend. Owners often report that when a much-loved family member dies, perhaps not surprisingly, those pets left behind appear to grieve too.

Just like us humans, animals can mourn in different ways, and some may show no outward signs of distress at all. Any and all reactions are therefore entirely ‘normal’.

Grief in pets left behind may manifest in a number of ways, such as:

• Actively looking for their departed companion
• Loss of appetite
• No interest in playing or interacting
• Unexplained vocalisation
• Changes in behaviour and temperament
• Change in toileting habits

And whilst these are entirely understandable, clearly it is important to be sure that there isn’t an underlying medical reason for any changes observed – consulting your vet is always recommended if you are at all worried, or if any of these symptoms persist.

When you are consumed by grief, it can seem tempting to shut yourself off for a time. In fact, there is much solace and comfort to be sought from your remaining pets, and you should try to give them as much additional attention as possible – for their benefit as much as yours. Grieve together, but try not to reward any unhealthy behaviour they may exhibit. In time their grief should pass and their behaviour should normalise, just as it will for you.

Maintaining a routine with respect to feeding, exercise and so on will help here, although some changes may be inevitable – for example it may be simply too painful to take the same route for walks as you used to enjoy with other pets. It is also important to try and minimise any additional sources of distress or stress to your remaining pets; try to avoid leaving them alone for extended periods or taking a holiday at this difficult time.

It is generally accepted that many pets benefit from being able to see and smell the body of the deceased pet in order to provide an explanation for his or her sudden disappearance. Death is a natural process, after all, and this exposure can help to minimise the severity and duration of their grief. Even if it doesn’t, it is highly unlikely to worsen the situation.
One practical point to be mindful of though – if you are burying your departed friend’s body in the garden, it is probably best not to let any family dogs see the location, as this may lead to an attempted dig. It’s also a good idea to make sure that you dig the hole deep for the same reason.

Ultimately, as with our own displays of grief, a pet’s response to loss can be unpredictable and varied. Be generous with your time and emotions, tolerant of any small changes in behaviour and your patience will undoubtedly be rewarded with a strengthened bond with your remaining pet(s).

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

With Halloween and Bonfire Night almost upon us, we thought it would be useful to take a look at some practical tips to help your pets stay calm amidst the inevitable bangs and whizzes that are all too common at this time of year.

Outdoor pets are more exposed to the sights and sounds of Halloween and Bonfire Night, and so we recommend checking on them regularly to reassure yourself that no ‘tricks’ have been played near the hutch, and that any stray fireworks or sparklers are safely removed. If you can, move your pet’s hutch into a garage or shed for added protection and noise insulation, and if this is not possible, add plenty of extra hay and place some old carpet over the hutch to dull the noise and provide extra warmth.

Many dogs and cats are likely to find unexpected loud noises stressful (the RSPCA estimates that 45% of dogs exhibit signs of stress when they hear fireworks). Hopefully after our blog a few weeks ago you have been working on noise desensitisation, but if you’re not quite there yet, the good news is that there is plenty you can do to get through the night with your nerves, and your soft furnishings, intact!

1. Now, in the days before Bonfire Night, start letting your cat out or taking your dog for a walk earlier in the evening so that they are used to a new routine rather than being stressed by a big change on the night.
2. Consider using an Adaptil spray on your dog’s blankets and toys – this mimics the appeasing pheromones produced naturally by the mother and thus helps to calm your dog down
3. For cats, Feliway sprays work in the same way. The Ralph Site Shop stocks a range of pheromone sprays and diffusers.
4. We also offer a Pet remedy Natural calming spray, which helps to relax your pet with a unique blend of calming essential oils.
5. Build a safe, dark, comfortable den in a quiet place, and place your pet’s favourite toys, treats and blankets in it.
6. Leave the door to the room where you have made this den open, or provide space for your pet to come and go freely – shutting your cat or dog in will only increase their stress levels.
7. Lock or block any cat flaps so that your pet cannot escape, and provide a litter tray, plenty of food and water and a comfortable blanket.
8. Keep all doors and windows closed, drawing curtains and blinds to keep the noise to a minimum.
9. Sit with your dog or cat, helping them to relax by following a normal evening routine and with music or the television on in the background.
10. If your pet shows any signs of fear try to ignore their behaviour. Don’t punish or fuss over your pet as this will give the message that what they are doing attracts attention, and thus makes things worse in the long run.

Good luck everyone!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

An important annual event raising awareness of animal charities and welfare issues, World Animal Day takes place each year on October 4th, the feast day of St Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals and the environment.

First established in 1931 at a convention of ecologists in Florence as a way of highlighting the plight of endangered species, this year World Animal Day was marked by a Global Wave across social media. It’s not too late to be a part of this influential movement for change – contribute your own images to the Global Wave campaign to raise awareness by uploading a selfie with the official poster – full details can be found at the World Animal Day website.
HAPPY#worldanimalday

Animal welfare organisations across the world are able to gain awareness for their work, as well as benefit from a wide range of fund raising activities linked to World Animal Day. Some of this year’s events included:

• ‘Roar for Tony’ campaign and petition, highlighting the poor conditions in which many captive big cats are held across the world
• Special prayers for animals held at over 50 places of worship in Coimbatore, India
• Doggie Beach Day in the Cayman Islands
• Love the Animals parade in Tondano, Indonesia
• Global March for Elephants and Rhinos in Melbourne

Animal welfare has historically always been very well supported by the Great British public, and animal charities receive millions of pounds in donations every year. They receive no state funding for their important work, although the Treasury does exempt donations from income tax in the form of Gift Aid. The largest – and sometimes controversial – animal charities in the UK receive generous levels of financial support from animal lovers: the 2014 RSPCA Trustees report states that the charity’s income for the year was £125.9 million, whilst the PDSA received £99.3 million in the same year. Whilst these figures are mind bogglingly high, they pale into insignificance when we consider that through the vital work done by each of these organisations, the PDSA was able to provide 2.23 million free treatments to pets, whilst the RSPCA fielded (and responded where appropriate) to 1,299,163 calls to its cruelty line.

Housing animals safely and humanely until they can be re-homed is expensive and requires an enormous amount of time, effort and expertise. And yet smaller, local charities can sometimes be overlooked by pet lovers wanting to donate – TV campaigns and press advertising are an extravagance unavailable to small charities with very limited resources, competing with huge organisations for a share of the limited public purse. If you would like to help an animal in distress this World Animal Day, you can find details of all the UK’s registered charities HERE.

And remember that your donation does not have to be financial – perhaps you have a spare hour to walk a dog? Deliver leaflets? Help out at the charity’s shop? Hold a jumble sale or cake bake to raise much-needed funds? However you choose to help, your contribution will go a long way to helping give animals a better deal – which of course is important at any time of year, not just around World Animal Day.

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Losing a loved one is devastating.
And whilst the sense of loss is universally intense, it is uniquely experienced – no two people will feel the same way, just as the same person will feel different every time they experience loss.

It seems obvious to say, and yet so often society and well-meaning friends assume that we are following a predictable and understandable process of grieving. There is no ‘right’ way to react or feel following the loss of a much-loved pet, and it’s impossible to know how you will feel in advance. Preparing for an inevitable end is no easier than experiencing a sudden loss.

People may say to you: “it’s only a pet” or “but it’s been ages now”, as if there is an acceptable time to feel bad, and after that point you simply have to switch off and move on.
Others may secretly wonder why you don’t seem sad; how can you have moved on so quickly?
Try to remember that everybody means well, they are either trying to help you move towards happier times, or preparing for a delayed reaction. Take on board any comments that you find helpful, and simply disregard those that you don’t – try not to magnify your grief with anger or sadness directed towards others. Because grief, in all its forms, is personal.

You might find it comforting to keep a photograph or a memento of your pet with you at all times.
You might find it morbid or upsetting.
Both reactions are perfectly normal, and equally OK.

You might feel that you don’t want your pet’s ashes returning.
Or you might wish to plan a trip to a favourite beach and scatter them over the dunes where she loved to run.
Either course of action (and of course anything and everything else in between) is just fine.

It’s OK to feel the way you feel, whatever that may be.

You might find it helpful to read the experiences of others who are going through the same emotions as you. The Ralph Site public Facebook page and private Facebook group offer non-judgemental spaces to offer advice, ask for support or simply to share memories of a wonderful companion.

There are also lots of links to useful websites and organisations offering support through the grieving process on our main site. You might not be ready for resources such as these right now, and indeed you might not feel that you ever need them, but they are there for you if, or when, you do.

Of course, there is no website or blog that can take away the pain of loss, but there is comfort to found in the knowledge that you are not alone, that it’s OK to feel how you are feeling.
And it will ease:

Grief never ends,
But it changes.
It’s a passage,
Not a place to stay.
The sense of loss
Must give way
If we are to value
The life that was lived.
Grief is not a sign of weakness
Nor lack of faith
It is the price of love.

(Author unknown)

Until next time very best wishes,

Shailen
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Pets remain as popular as ever in UK households – 2015 research published by the Pet Foods Manufacturers’ Association in their annual report finds that:

• 46% of UK households have a pet
• The pet population is currently estimated to be around 58 million (not far behind the human population of 64.5 million!)
• Indoor fish make up the largest group of pets, at 19.9 million
• Dogs are the most popular pet in UK households, with a quarter of homes sharing their sofas with a canine companion
• Figures suggest that there are now almost a million more dogs than there were five years ago (8.5 million in 2015, as opposed to 7.6 in 2010), whilst the cat population has dropped by half a million over the same timescale (currently estimated at 7.4 million, down from 7.9 million in 2010)
• Numbers of rabbits and small furries remain fairly static, with 2% of UK households caring for each

Source: www.pfma.org.uk/pet-population-2015

The human-animal bond is wonderful!

Because, as we all know, pets enrich the lives of everybody lucky enough to share that special bond. As well as providing companionship and love, studies have also found a clear link between pets and improved health:

• One study at Cambridge University found that the people with pets had fewer minor ailments (such as colds and headaches) compared with those without pets in their lives.
• An Australian study has suggested that having a pet may lower levels of cholesterol and blood triglycerides, which are risk factors for heart disease.
• Heart attack survivors who care for pets have been shown to live longer than people with the same heart problems who don’t have pets in their lives.

Source: www.webmd.boots.com/stress-management/features/health-benefits-of-pets

So next time you are presented with a little unexpected ‘present’ on the doorstep, or have to clean up the aftermath of indoor chasing games, remember that it’s all good for you!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and theRalph Site team.
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.