In the latest of our series of mini interviews with friends of The Ralph Site we received some very insightful feedback from our feline friend Ror Paradise, who shares a different perspective and enlightens us with some wise words of advice for anyone experiencing the loss of a much-loved companion.

“The following words have been submitted on behalf of Ror by his human skivvy.”

1. Do you currently share your home with any pets? If so, please tell us about them.

I have discussed this question with my fellow ‘overlords’, and I have to say that opinion is divided; we all agree that ‘pets’ is not quite the right word; underlings, skivvies, can-openers or gofers seem to be more appropriate…

2. What was the name of your first pet?

I can’t really remember my first ‘pets’ – they were not the attentive and caring companions I had hoped for. The best word I can find for them in the circumstances is ‘neglectful’.

3. Why did you choose that name?

It seems fair, considering they left me straying in the snow when I went seeking lady cats…

4. Cats, dogs or another species? Can you choose? And why?

Well duh!  Cats, of course! Specifically this cat, ME!

5. What is your favourite memory of an animal who has shared your life?

Being rescued from the snow and brought ‘home’ by my underlings with their cosy beds, cuddles and fireplace.

6. Which three words would you choose to describe him?

Pushover snuggle-buddy.

7. What is your favourite fictional animal and why?

Fiction is not really our thing, but we have loved following the exploits of our real life hero ‘my sad cat’.  Run free dear The Bear (he passed just recently). And much love to his underling too x

8. If you could be any animal, which one would you choose and why?

Well me, of course!  Why be anyone else when you are already perfect?

9. What advice would you give to someone grieving for a much-loved pet?

Dear underlings, please be gentle with yourselves in your grief.  Please bring comfort to yourself and a new friend as soon as you feel able – rescue a soul in need if you possibly can.  Nobody can ‘replace’ your departed friend, but your care is needed by so many others who have become ‘lost’.

10. When and how did you first come across The Ralph Site? What do you think is the most important role of The Ralph Site community?

I was introduced to The Ralph Site by a friend of a friend many moons ago. Kinship is the most important role this wonderful community fulfils.  Many ‘real world’ friends do not understand the bond between species, but members of this lovely group offer non-judgemental and authentic support to others in their grief; and many real friendships are created between like-minded souls who meet this way.

We’ll be featuring regular mini-interviews with friends of The Ralph Site in future; so do keep an eye out every first and third week of each month!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Friends of The Ralph Site know all too well the huge impact that pets have on our lives – the many positive memories and emotions they create, as well as the deep sense of loss felt when they have left us. We have each experienced the love and joy that enter our lives along with our pets, but did you know that there are other more tangible benefits gifted to us by these amazing furred, feathered and scaled companions?

Being around animals makes us feel better

Medical professionals have long known that interacting with animals has health benefits – William Tuke, an 18th century Quaker philanthropist, noticed that his asylum patients’ mental health benefitted from being around animals and so he ensured that copious numbers of rabbits and birds lived amongst the patients to encourage inmates to develop ‘benevolent feelings’, greater responsibility and self-control. Similarly, Florence Nightingale, in her ‘Notes on Nursing’ also saw how patients confined to bed gained a simple, but meaningful, pleasure from the presence of a bird in their room.

There is now a considerable body of research demonstrating a link between living with pets and improved health; whether it be living longer after a heart attack (Friedmann et al, 1980), reduced frequency of minor ailments (Serpell, 1991) or lower blood pressure in stressful situations (Allen et al, 2002).

Somebody to lean on

Aside from the real physical benefits that come from living with a pet, many studies have also shown a clear link with significantly lower levels of loneliness and feelings of isolation in people who share their home only with a pet (Headey, 1998). Psychologists have postulated that our pets’ greeting rituals, naturally affectionate dispositions, loyalty and ability to love unconditionally may all evoke feelings of self-worth and self-esteem in their human carers.

Companion animals create strong bonds

Research published in 2014 by scientists at the Claremont Graduate University in California found that domesticated animals release oxytocin when they are in close contact with their humans – the same hormone that creates close bonds between people. The study also showed that humans experience a surge in oxytocin (the ‘cuddle hormone’) when spending time with their dog or cat, and proved what we all know – that not everyone is a pet person!
In the study, 100 participants played with a dog or cat for 15 minutes, after which their levels of oxytocin were measured and compared with data taken before the start of the experiment. Only 30% saw increased levels of oxytocin after interacting with the animals, with those who had lived with dogs in the past being more likely to feel a bond while playing with the animals than those who had lived with cats, or those who had never lived with pets at all.

Given the strength of this connection between human and animal, it’s easy to see how the regular visits of therapy animals make a real difference to both the mental and physical health of those in hospital, schools or residential care homes. The wonderful organisation Pets as Therapy is a national charity, founded in 1983 and working with a network of volunteers across the UK to bring companion animals into the lives of thousands of adults and children every year. Their therapeutic visits offer support in three key areas:

•  Providing companionship and friendship to help to tackle loneliness
•  Improving the lives of people suffering from debilitating mental and physical health conditions and illnesses such as Autism, Dementia and Stroke as part of a holistic approach to treatment
•  Improving literacy in children by developing their confidence, interest and enjoyment in reading, through the charity’s read2dogs scheme.
  You can read more about Pets as Therapy’s important work, as well as finding out how to offer the services of yourself and your dog (or cat!) here.

Another similar, newer and more local service working with the elderly is TheraPaws offered by The Mayhew Animal Home in London.

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

In the last week of every month we take a look back at the crazy creatures and amazing animals that have made the headlines in recent weeks. Here’s a reminder of what January’s headlines told us about some of the animals that share our planet:

New president immortalised in insect form

Newly inaugurated US president Donald Trump now has a moth named after him. The new species was discovered in a study of a collection held by the Museum of Entomology at the University of California. Classified as ‘Neopalpa donaldtrumpi’, scientists felt that the bright blonde scales on the moth’s head bore more than a passing resemblance to the unique comb-over hairstyle of the new president. Outgoing president Barack Obama was also honoured, with marine biologists recognising his conservation work in the Pacific by naming a species of maroon and gold fish ‘Tosanoides Obama’.

Hollywood filmmakers accused of animal cruelty

Unsettling images have recently surfaced from the Winnipeg location shoot for the film ‘A Dog’s Purpose’ starring Dennis Quaid and billed as “a celebration of the special connection between humans and their dogs.”

The leaked footage shows Hercules, a German Shepherd, struggling to stay out of a pool of churning water as a handler pushes him in so the film crew can get their shot. Both the film’s director and the actor who voices Hercules have expressed their shock at the apparent lapse in standards of animal care. Meanwhile, animal welfare organisations have expressed outrage and called for a boycott of the film. American Humane, the organisation that oversees animal safety during filming, is currently investigating the incident and has suspended its on-set representative pending the outcome of the inquiry.

Happy Year of the Rooster!

This year, Chinese New Year begins on Saturday January 28 and lasts until February 15th, 2018. Following the twelve-yearly cycle of the ancient calendar, 2017 is the Year of the Rooster. As you may know, in Chinese astrology each zodiac year is associated not only with an animal sign, but also one of five elements: Gold (Metal), Wood, Water, Fire, or Earth.

According to ancient belief, it is the combination of the zodiac sign and the element that shapes the astrology of the year – 2017 is a Fire Rooster year, and those born in one are said to be characterised by their trustworthy nature, and have a strong sense of timekeeping and responsibility at work!

A number of famous people born in 1957, the last year of the fire Rooster, will be 60 this year: Dawn French, Donny Osmond, Martin Luther King III, Stephen Fry, Hans Zimmer, Dolph Lundgren, and Jools Holland.

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

In the latest of our series of mini interviews with friends of The Ralph Site we contacted Barb Jameson, who shares her memories of pets she has known and loved, along with some wise words of advice for anyone experiencing the loss of a much-loved companion:

1. Do you currently share your home with any pets? If so, please tell us about them.

At the moment, living with me I have Bonnie, who is nearly 11 and is the mother of Angel, who is 8 and has been with me from birth.  Bonnie and Angel are Chocolate Labradors – I love the breed and have shared my life with Labradors for 30 years now!

2. What was the name of your first pet?

Scamp.

3. Why did you choose that name?

Scamp was a rescue dog when he found us, and had already been given the name. It suited him too much to think about changing it!

4. Cats, dogs or another species? Can you choose? And why?

I would have to say dogs – I have had dogs in my life since I was five, and they are so faithful and loving, even at the puppy stage.  They are my life, all doggies!

5. What is your favourite memory of an animal who has shared your life?

I guess it would be Jamie, who I lost in 2016. Jamie was a yellow Lab and he was such a character – always stirring things up between the other doggies! He would start trouble and then walk away innocently, like a human, obviously enjoying the mischief he’d caused!

6. Which three words would you choose to describe him?

My Jamie was always kind, loyal and loving.

7. What is your favourite fictional animal and why?

I love Alexander the meerkat (from the insurance adverts) – he thinks he is so superior and that really makes me laugh!

8. If you could be any animal, which one would you choose and why?

I would choose to be a tiger – such beautiful animals, with a look of pure majesty.

9. What advice would you give to someone grieving for a much-loved pet?

Just take it an hour, a day at a time. Try to think of the good times and never, ever feel guilty if you have had to take the decision to euthanase a pet – we owe it to our loved ones to help end their suffering.

10. When and how did you first come across The Ralph Site? What do you think is the most important role of The Ralph Site community?

I had come across the site before I lost Jamie, and as I had lost many dogs over the years I was hopefully able to give some words of comfort to others who were experiencing the same feelings of loss and despair.  I have made many, many genuine friends through the site, and have also tried to help people who literally lived for their pets, as they had nothing else in their lives.  I think the site is fantastic – one of its greatest strengths is that when anyone has a bad day they can offload their feelings to people who understand, and we don’t mind because we really do care.

We’ll be featuring regular mini-interviews with friends of The Ralph Site in future; so do keep an eye out every first and third week of each month!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

As animal lovers, it’s almost impossible to think about the day when we will have to say goodbye to our beloved pets. We can only hope that when the time does inevitably come, it will be a peaceful passing at the end of a long and happy life.

Sadly, as many of us know all too well, sometimes this is not to be. Sometimes our faithful companions become ill or are injured, and we may have to face some very difficult decisions in order to prevent them suffering prolonged pain.

Euthanasia (sometimes referred to as ‘putting to sleep’) is the term used to describe the active veterinary intervention undertaken to end pain or suffering. Discussions with your vet exploring all the options and details will undoubtedly be emotional; the overriding desire to ‘do the right thing’ is often clouded by feelings of guilt, sadness and frustration for many of us. If you are currently in a position where you have to think about ending your pet’s suffering, or would like to be a little more prepared when the time comes in the future, you might like to know that you can find plenty of helpful practical support on our website here.

Accepting when is the ‘right’ time to let your companion go can often be the hardest part, and it’s helpful to consider some simple questions that can help you reach the decision that is ultimately in the best interests of your pet:

•  Is your pet is still enjoying life? Does he/she seem happy?
•  Is the overall quality of life still acceptable? Think about:
  o Evidence of discomfort
  o Appetite levels
  o Mobility
  o Urinary or faecal incontinence
  o Mental capacity and confusion
  o Ease of breathing – is it a real effort for your pet?
•  What is the prognosis associated with any illnesses diagnosed?
• Are treatment options available? How aggressive, invasive or uncomfortable are they likely to be?

Ultimately, helping our pets to a dignified and peaceful end is the most important and noble act we can undertake for our faithful companions. However, the decision is particularly painful because in order to end a pet’s suffering, we must unselfishly, and in the name of love, choose to accept our own.

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support