Those of us who have shared even a small part of our lives with a much-loved animal friend will carry the experience with us forever. And yet just as we find joy in the memories of happy times shared together, the pain of saying goodbye and the gaping hole left behind are also indelibly stamped on our hearts.

Sometimes the visceral pull of grief feels almost too much to bear. And whilst there is no magic button to press to make everything feel better, each of us is stronger than we know. Endurance and fortitude are uniquely human traits, helping us overcome the pain and sorrow whilst always retaining the sense of loss that reminds us of the depth of connection we enjoyed with our lost friend.

At times like these it is always helpful to speak with someone who really understands what you are going through, who has a small sense of what you’re feeling. You may have sympathetic friends or family who have lost their own pets, and talking over how you feel with them will provide some small comfort. However, if you feel there is nobody you can share your thoughts and feelings with, we have put together a list of experienced Pet Bereavement Counsellors from across the UK who may be able to help you work through the grieving process. (Please note that whilst we provide details for your convenience, we are unable to directly endorse or recommend these individual services, and you may also wish to research other alternatives to suit your own preferences and requirements.)

In addition, there is also plenty of support and advice to be found in the Counselling Directory, the UK’s largest database of registered professional counsellors. Here you’ll find answers to any questions you may have about how counselling works, and which type of approach might be best for you if you do decide to seek professional help. You can also search for pet bereavement counsellors near you.

The Blue Cross provides an excellent free resource, the Pet Bereavement Support Service. Its support line can be accessed free from landlines (some mobile networks may charge) in the UK and Northern Ireland on 0800 096 6606, and is open from 8.30am – 8.30pm everyday. More details can be found here.

You might also like to join The Ralph Site’s private Facebook support group, where you can discuss how you feel about your pet’s passing in a confidential and safe environment. Membership of this private group is by invitation only; however all you need to do is click on the link here and leave a request to join.

Please don’t ever feel that you should be able to cope on your own; there is no need to suffer in silence. Each of us needs someone to share our thoughts and feelings with sometimes, and without acknowledging and expressing the pain we feel we may simply be storing up future problems. Time after time we hear that what helps people dealing with pet loss grief the most is being able to share their feelings with and get support from other people.

According to recent statistics from the Royal College of Psychiatrists, as many as 1 in 4 people will experience some kind of diagnosable mental distress during their lifetime, with 20% of people becoming depressed. And we all know that bereavement is widely acknowledged to be one of the most traumatic experiences to go through. Well-meaning friends may tell you that “it’s only a dog” and encourage you to get another one – not everyone understands the deep bond that we form with our pets. You will know when, indeed if, the time is right to bring another animal into your life, and it will never be to replace an old friend, rather to make a new one.

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

With so much suffering and bad news filling the newspapers at the moment, we thought it might be nice to take a more animal-centric look at the news. It seems that the internet was practically invented for funny videos and pictures of animals, and any scroll through social media will soon unearth several gems, usually showing cats and dogs being unintentionally hilarious. But what about the stories behind the memes and gifs?

In the last week or two we’ve heard about the well-earned promotion of Felix, the resident cat at Huddersfield railway station. Felix has lived at the station since 2011, brought in to catch mice and keep the platforms pest-free. In recognition of her sterling work, station staff have recently ‘purr-moted’ her (groan) to the role of Senior Pest Controller, complete with her own high-vis vest. A cat flap has even been installed at the ticket barrier to allow her easy access to the platforms. The feel-good story quickly went viral, and Felix now has her own Facebook page, with over 42,000 likes! More HERE.

Panasonic has revealed filmed evidence of exactly what our pets get up to whilst they are home alone. In video footage captured by its home monitoring system in 2,000 homes across the UK, the company witnessed a number of unexpected sights:

• A dog who managed to dig down through the kitchen floorboards and subsequently spent two days beneath the house before being safely rescued
• Two cats who had somehow flicked the kitchen tap on and flooded the kitchen
• Another cat who managed to drag a whole cooked chicken in through the cat flap
• Several clever pets who managed to open the fridge and devour the contents
• An excitable puppy who jumped up and knocked over an urn, spilling the precious contents on the floor
• The delivery of a parcel of jumpers, left in the garden and torn apart by the resident dogs

You can read more stories HERE.

The PDSA has just launched a ‘Pet Fit Club’ and are currently looking to recruit overweight dogs, cats and rabbits to embark on a six-month diet and exercise programme. With the programme tailored to produce a gradual weight loss and promote a healthy lifestyle, participating pets will then battle it out to be crowned the UK’s pet slimmer of the year. The charity has run a weight loss campaign for the last 11 years, and its website reports on the biggest loser to date:

“‘Jumbo Jack’ became Jumping Jack when he won the 2011/12 Pet Fit Club. The Cavalier King Charles Spaniel shed nearly one third (31%), of his bodyweight in our slimming competition. The eight-year-old was transformed by his involvement in the contest. At the beginning of the competition he tipped the scales at 20.5kg, around double his ideal weight. Six months on he was a far healthier 14.1kg (a loss of 6.4kg) and trimmed an impressive 20cm off his waist, beating 16 other pets to the title of ‘biggest loser’!”

If you’d like to sign your pet up for the Pet Fit Club, you can find out more HERE.

And finally, sadly, a topical animal story without a happy ending. The nation watched with bated breath as marine experts tried desperately to save a number of sperm whales stranded on the shallow shores around the Lincolnshire and Norfolk coast. In total six whales have beached and died in the UK, but sadly there have been a further 24 along the coasts of Holland, France and Germany. It is believed that a pod of the gentle giants became disorientated on their long journey south to the tropics, entering the relatively shallow waters of the North Sea instead of travelling down the Atlantic coast of Britain. All the beached whales have been male – the females and calves tend to stay in warmer waters through the year whilst the males leave to form bachelor pods. On average seven sperm whales beach on UK shores each year, so sadly the recent news is not unexpected.

With animals forming such a large part of our lives, and occupying such a big space in our hearts, you don’t have to look far to find uplifting, humorous, inspiring or humbling stories from the animal kingdom. In fact, you’re bound to have plenty of such stories of your own?!…

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

If you’ve been out shopping in the last month, it can’t have escaped your notice that Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. Popular the world over (especially with card manufacturers, chocolate retailers and florists!), the 14th of February is the perfect opportunity to show the special someone in your life how much you care.

The origins of Valentine’s Day are believed to sit with an early Christian, Saint Valentinus of Rome, who was imprisoned by the state for carrying out wedding ceremonies for soldiers who were forbidden to marry. Another popular legend states that Valentine’s Day originated from the Feast of Lupercalia – a fertility festival celebrated in mid-February by ancient Romans, randomly pairing young boys and girls together to marry. However it was not until medieval times that Valentine’s Day really became popular – it was widely believed that the 14th of February marked the start of the mating season, when birds chose their lifelong mates. Lovers began to exchange letters and flowers on this day, declaring their intentions (whether honourable or otherwise!)

The first Valentine’s card is held in the archives of the British Library; credited to Charles, Duke of Orleans, who sent it to his wife in 1415 whilst imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. Valentine cards for pets are now widely available – no surprise given that most of us with animals in our lives will happily admit to being head-over-heels in love with them!

The love we get from our pets is unconditional – a truly special thing in our modern, and often impersonal, world. They ask nothing from us and yet we’re happy to give so much – space on the best sofa, a favourite jumper to sleep with, and most precious of all, our time.

Of course you don’t have to spend money to show that you care – going for an extra-long walk, turning a blind eye just this once to the furry bundle sneaking under the duvet, or putting down a few extra favourite biscuits are just some of the small ways we can share our love.

However you are celebrating, and whoever you are spending it with, we wish you and your loved ones a very happy Valentine’s Day!

The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Monday 8th of February marks the beginning of the Chinese Year of the Monkey – the ninth in a twelve-year cycle of animals representing the Chinese zodiac, which will end on January 27th 2017. The zodiac features a wide range of creatures great and small, living and mythical, domesticated and wild:

• Rat
• Ox
• Tiger
• Rabbit
• Dragon
• Snake
• Horse
• Goat
• Monkey
• Rooster
• Dog
• Pig

The beginning of each New Year is on the first day of the first month of the Chinese lunar calendar, and therefore the date varies each spring, according to the cycles of the moon.

In Chinese astrology, each year is associated with an animal sign as well as with one the Five Elements: Gold (Metal), Water, Wood, Fire, or Earth. Both the sign and element of your birth year are said to affect your personality and destiny, and the specific element-sign combinations only occur every 60 years – 2016 is the year of the Fire Monkey (you can find a very comprehensive discussion of the character traits, lucky features and a run-down of the year ahead for Monkeys here)

Chinese astrologists believe that those born under the sign of the monkey are ambitious and adventurous, as well as being confident, optimistic and fond of the limelight – not at all surprisingly, just like the animals under whose sign they are born!

In the UK, the law regrettably allows for monkeys to be kept as pets, and the RSPCA estimates that thousands of primates (such as marmosets, capuchins and squirrel monkeys) are currently confined in UK homes. However, as highly intelligent animals with complex behaviours and particular habitation needs, it is clear that monkeys cannot live happily as pets. The RSPCA reports that primates that have been kept as pets often have poor diets and have been exposed to little or no sunlight. Many develop Metabolic Bone Disease, leading to fractured or deformed bones, painful abscesses and tooth decay; a condition that is common in primates weaned too early from their mothers. As such, the organisation is currently campaigning for a change in the law, to ban the keeping of primates as pets. If you would like to lend your support, you can click here.

Rather than keep them as pets, we would always encourage those who love the more unusual exotic animals to offer practical support and funding instead, via the adoption schemes run by many animal charities and zoological organisations., with the aim of helping primates in their natural non-confined environments.

And until next time, Shailen and The Ralph Site team wish you a “Happy Year of the Monkey!”
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Friends of The Ralph Site will not be surprised to find that one of the most popular sections of our website is our Memorials page. Thousands of people have already uploaded photos and memories of their special friends; who may be gone, but are in no way forgotten. Sharing images and stories of those who played such a large part in our lives, and who continue to live on in our hearts and memories, helps to give these much-loved pets a continued physical presence. And for other carers who have gone through the same grief, sharing kind words and a virtual hug is one small way in which they can make a big difference to those whose pets have crossed the Rainbow Bridge.

When the time comes, if you find that you want to share your own memories on The Ralph Site, it’s very easy to add a memorial. You can find more details here.
You must log in or register with the site in order to post your memorial, but there is no time limit, so posts can be added as and when you feel ready to share your pet’s story.

At the moment memorials can only be created using a laptop or desktop computer and maybe with some tablet devices but not a smartphone.

We remember our special friends on the anniversary of their passing for three years on our Facebook page. Our many Facebook friends tell us that they value this shared community space, where pet carers share their feelings and offer advice to anyone feeling angry, sad or frustrated in their loss. Others often add poignant and sensitive posts and comments, which help bereaved pet carers understand that they are not alone in their grief.

You might also like to know that we have created a private Facebook support group to complement our main Facebook page. This group currently has over 1,000 members, so by joining you’ll be able to communicate with people who can share a wide range of experiences and coping techniques. As you may be aware, Facebook groups work differently to pages – allowing people who may be struggling to create on-going supportive links with others in the group. Notifications alert members when others have posted or commented, developing a mutually beneficial support network to help with the heartache of pet loss.

Our experience is that some people may be reluctant to fully share how they feel about their pet’s passing on an open public page – this private Facebook group therefore allows anybody wishing to become more involved to interact with friends in a confidential and safe environment. Membership of this private group is by invitation only; all you need to do is click on the link here and leave a request to join.

And if you aren’t already Facebook friends with us, why not join the 41,000+ others who have ‘liked’ our page? As well as featuring daily memorials, we also post news and items of interest to pet carers, regularly sharing inspirational quotes and heart warming pet pictures and encouraging our friends to do the same.
Because after all, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.