Feeding a balanced diet that meets all your pet’s nutritional requirements whilst providing the correct blend of calories for his or her age and lifestyle is one of the most important ways you can help keep your pet happy and healthy. With so much choice on the market, picking products can sometimes seem a daunting task, but at least there is always a brand and a product to suit every budget, as well as pleasing the palate of even the pickiest pet.
We’ve put together a list of things to consider when thinking about your pet’s diet, which should help you choose the food that’s right for you both:

• Do consult the nursing team at your veterinary practice for advice on the correct amount of food to feed your pet. The PDSA estimates that one in three dogs, one in four cats and one in four rabbits in the UK are overweight or obese, and suggests that the proportion of overweight pets will continue to grow. Many practices hold free weight management clinics where the nurses can assess your pet’s weight and recommend a feeding regime that will keep him or her at a healthy weight. Just like us, pets suffer discomfort and can cause irreversible damage to their joints and internal organs by carrying excess weight around.
• Ensure that your pets receive a balanced diet with all the nutrients and minerals required to support a healthy body. Commercial pet foods are usually formulated to be balanced – although they may also contain things that would surprise you! It is possible to feed pets a homemade diet as long as you are attentive to certain necessities, e.g. cats need a certain amount of dietary taurine (an amino acid) which is provided in both vegan and to an extent non-vegan pet food diets as synthetic taurine.
• Your rabbit’s diet must be made up predominantly (around three quarters) of good quality grass or hay, supplemented with leafy greens and pellet food. Most vets agree that muesli-style feed is not appropriate as rabbits will pick out certain bits and leave the more fibrous ones (which are actually more important in ensuring good gut health and maintaining dental condition).
• When switching to a different brand or type of food (from wet to dry for example), always transition your pet across over several days. Start by introducing a small percentage of the new food on day one, and gradually increase the amount whilst reducing the amount of your pet’s previous diet. Swapping to a new food straight away invariably leads to dietary upsets that can cause diarrhoea.
• Always ensure that your pet has unlimited access to fresh drinking water. Those on a dry diet will need to drink more than pets fed predominantly on wet food (which can contain as much as 75% moisture). Check on water bottles and bowls regularly, especially for outside pets during the winter months when these can freeze.
  Treats contain calories too, so make sure that you adjust the amount of food given if you regularly top up your pet’s intake with chews or biscuits.
• Choose the right food for your pet’s lifestyle – puppy and kitten foods are formulated to provide a concentrated blend of energy and nutrition required at this key stage of growth. Conversely, older pets will have a lower energy requirement and their immune systems will benefit from additional supplements.
• Provide a variety of tastes and textures for your pet to enjoy, just like us they can become fed up with the same old things day in, day out
• Remember that some human foods are not suitable for your pet

Battling the bulges

The sensitive subject of weight management – it turns out that just like us, your pet can have too much of a good thing!

Broaching the topic of weight can be difficult, and yet with most estimates agreeing that at least a third of UK pets are overweight (2014 PDSA Animal Welfare report) it is essential that we face this growing problem.

We all know that not only can obesity cause serious health and welfare problems in itself, but it can also make existing medical conditions worse. The sad fact is that being significantly overweight can reduce both the length and quality of a pet’s life, increasing the risk of developing a number of serious problems such as:

• Diabetes
• Heart disease
• Respiratory problems
• High blood pressure
• Joint pain and arthritis

Many carers aren’t clear what the ‘normal’ body shape for a healthy animal is, and it is common for a pet’s weight to creep up over the years as a result of being fed too much or not doing enough exercise. Many veterinary practices offer free weight management clinics, and will be happy to recommend a feeding regime to help your pet shed those surplus pounds, so do take advice from the vets and nurses at your practice.

It’s easy to check whether your pet is carrying excess weight – the RSPCA suggests a simple three-stage visual check for cats and dogs:

• You should be able to see and feel the outline of your pet’s ribs
• Your pet’s waist should be clearly visible when viewed from above
• Your pet’s tummy should be tucked up when seen from the side

There are also some really useful visual guides and charts on the Pet Food Manufacturers Association website, to help you assess how far away from his / her ideal weight your dog, cat, rabbit, bird or guinea pig may be.

If you find that your pet is carrying more weight than is healthy, by simply reducing the quantity of food given and increasing the amount of exercise your pet receives each day you can make positive changes. All commercially produced pet foods have recommended feeding guides printed on the packaging, and more information is available on their websites. Often the amount of food your pet needs to stay happy and healthy is less than you might expect, especially for dry diets; and just like us, most pets will find it difficult to regulate their intake correctly when there is plenty of tasty food available!

So why not spend a few minutes checking your pet over today? By taking early action to correct any gradual weight gain you may be saving him / her from the pain and discomfort of aching joints (and saving yourself from potentially costly veterinary treatment in the process!)

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

So there goes another year! As 2015 draws to a close, let’s take a look back at some of the animals that made the News through the year:

January
Two new rugs installed in the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office are in place for several weeks before somebody spots that they read “In Dog We Trust”!

February
The Guinness Book of Records names Tortoiseshell cat Tiffany Two from California the world’s oldest cat, after she reaches the ripe old age of 27 years (equivalent to roughly 125 human years!)

March
In keeping with annual tradition, the Duchess of Cambridge presented sprigs of shamrocks to soldiers from the Irish Guards in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, including one for the regiment’s mascot three-year-old Irish Wolfhound Domhnall.

April
In California, record numbers of sea lions are stranded after venturing onshore in search of food. 2,250 were rescued during the first quarter of the year, a situation blamed on lack of food in the area’s warming seas.

May
The Canal & River Trust installed temporary Duck Lanes along waterways in London, Birmingham and Manchester as part of its “Share the space, drop your pace” campaign to encourage cyclists and pedestrians to be more considerate of surrounding wildlife.

June
The world’s ugliest dog is named as Quasi Modo, a 10-year-old Pit Bull and Dutch Shepherd cross from California who was born with a short spine and adopted from an animal shelter by a local vet. Of course he is a beautiful soul like all other animals. Read the full story here.

July
Prosecutors in Australia charged Johnny Depp and his wife Amber Heard with illegally bringing their two Yorkshire Terriers Pistol and Boo into the country. The couple were told that the animals must be returned to the US or face euthanasia for breaching the country’s strict quarantine rules.

August
A video of a baby elephant being rescued by local villagers after falling into a well in southern India goes viral. You can watch the heart-warming scene here.

September
Major Tom the cat saved the life of his human companion when the yacht they lived on began to fill with water during the night whilst anchored off the coast of Australia. Grant McDonald was woken by the clever cat and they had just minutes to evacuate the sinking craft together, spending several hours on a raft before being rescued by a passing Chinese ship.

October
Ruby the yellow Labrador helped Jane and Alan Slater from the Isle of Wight win £149,089.30 when she found a winning ticket in the back of their car. The couple were already celebrating after winning the same amount with another ticket when 2-year-old Ruby found the second forgotten ticket!

November
One of only four northern white rhinos left in the world dies in San Diego. Nola, 41, had been under veterinary care for a bacterial infection. The remaining three rhinos live at the Ol Pejeta Conservancy in Kenya, protected by armed guards.

December
Images of endangered pandas, fish and leopards are projected onto the Vatican as global leaders gather in Paris to discuss the actions required to halt global warming and secure the future of natural habitats for our fellow creatures.

And so, as we say goodbye to 2015 and head towards 2016, all that remains is to wish you and yours all the very best for the New Year!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

As each of us knows all too well, losing a pet is devastating. The emotions we experience cannot be fully understood or mitigated by planning or expectation. If your pet has borne a terminal illness, knowing that the end is coming is no less painful than one that arrives unannounced.

It’s important to remember that there is no ‘right’ way to feel, no ‘normal’ length of time to grieve. You may feel bereft and hollow for weeks, or you may feel calm and accepting of your loss within days. Each and every scenario is your ‘normal’ and cannot be altered by well-meaning friends and colleagues telling you to ‘buck your ideas up’. Some people find it helpful to look for a timeline of grief, so that they can see a glimmer of light ahead, identifying a time when they might start to feel better again.

‘Time heals’ we often hear. Those of us who have been through bereavement know that the pain never magically goes away, although it does become manageable as time passes. It really does. The intense feelings of loss, anger and pain do become less raw as the months inevitably go by. With a physical injury, the wound heals with time and we are left with a scar. The same is true with emotional pain; our hearts and our minds draw a veil over the immediate pain, but a scar remains. With time we can remember our lost friends with a smile instead of a tear.

Just how long this process takes is impossible to predict and difficult to measure. It will be different for each of us and with every pet, as a wide range of factors affect our handling of grief. So whilst we may not be able to say, “you’ll feel better in x weeks”, we can say for certain that with time, you will start to notice the signs of healing:

• You have more good days than bad
• Energy and motivation levels increase
• Memories are fond, rather than traumatic
• You can think constructively about the loss of your loved one and the impact on your life
• Sleep patterns return to normal
• You feel optimistic about the future
• Performance at work improves
• You’re able to focus on personal health and wellbeing
• Relationships feel more functional and healthy
• You feel as though you are ‘re-joining the human race’
• You begin to seek emotional and physical intimacy again

Until then, don’t put yourself under pressure to feel ‘back to normal’, especially as the parameters of ‘normal’ in your life have now been changed. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty that you can’t yet get past your grief, and give yourself the time to heal. And hard as it may be, try not to begrudge friends and family enjoying precious time with their pets . In your head and your heart, permit them the joy that comes from the special bond between us and our pets for as long as it lasts, and remember fondly the many happy times shared with your own dear friend.

Know that the pain will ease and in time comes new hope and strength.

Lots of love from Shailen and The Ralph Site team,
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

As you may well be aware, The Ralph Site has a very active Facebook page where over 40,000 friends share their experiences and emotions, supporting each other through the toughest of times. You may not know that there is also a private closed Facebook group where members can share their innermost feelings and receive advice, sympathy and a virtual hug from others who have experienced, or who are now going through, the same maelstrom of emotions. Membership of this group is by request or invitation from existing members.

Initially brought together by a shared experience of loss, these pet carers from across the world and from every different walk of life, quickly form strong bonds of empathy and friendship with each other that help them bear the burden of their grief, if only in some small way. Posts to the closed group page are often incredibly personal and raw; those who have recently lost a much-loved friend share their thoughts and feelings honestly, safe in the knowledge that there is no judgement, only understanding and love.

There are many common themes running through the language of grief. The word cloud here illustrates the most common themes and emotions shared by pet carers across The Ralph Site Facebook pages. The size of each word is determined by the frequency with which it features, and so the largest words are those that are the most used:

Most commonly used words by Ralph Site community members.

As you can see, the most commonly used word is ‘sorry’, closely followed by ‘loss’ (indeed, these are often used together, “I’m sorry for your loss”). Knowing that a stranger cares about how you are feeling is both comforting and empowering. In the depths of grief it can feel like you are the only one feeling the pain, and a virtual hug, in the shape of a few kind words, can provide some welcome light in the darkness. ‘RIP’ is also much used and offers the comfort of knowing that these pets are now in a better place, where they will not age or feel pain.

Many Facebook users clearly take comfort from the idea that their pets are waiting for them at Rainbow Bridge, where they play with other pets who have passed, each restored to health and vitality. When the pain and loss does not make sense, giving a shape and colour to the experience in the form of a heavenly place such as Rainbow Bridge can help enormously. Many pet carers struggle with the thought that their pet may be cold and alone in their final resting place, and so thinking of a much-loved friend in a better place is a welcome relief. Whether or not you are a spiritual person, and regardless of which God you may believe in, accepting that the mortal remains under the ground are simply the shell that once held the spirit and beauty of a dear friend can help alleviate some of the guilt that accompanies burials and cremation. Many members of the Facebook community discuss how they have dealt with moving house when their pet’s grave remains, and amongst the empathy there are many practical tips to be found. One person shared her plans to be cremated with the ashes of her much-loved cat, so that they can at last be reunited – an idea that many others found both inspiring and comforting.

“Thinking of you” and “in my thoughts / prayers” are also very common sentiments on The Ralph Site Facebook pages. Often friends will post details of their pet’s imminent passing or ongoing struggle with illness or old age, and friends will keep checking back for news. Knowing that someone has been thinking about you as you come to the end of a difficult day offers a powerful sense of support and solidarity.

Members of The Ralph Site community have each gone through the heartache of losing a dear friend and understand the range of emotions involved. ‘Guilt’ is another common thread – making the decision to put a pet to sleep is traumatic enough, without the added weight of responsibility that comes with actively ending a life. Of course, taking this decision actually represents the ultimate selfless act when undertaken with love and to ease enduring pain, but this can be hard to accept in the moment. Reading countless messages from friends telling you that you’ve done the right thing, and that the guilt will pass, helps the healing come quicker.

Many pet carers refer to their ‘fur babies’, illustrating the close and enduring bond that we form with the pets in our lives. This can be hard to understand when you have not experienced the intense emotions evoked by sharing your life with a pet, any several people report receiving harsh comments and unhelpful advice from work colleagues and friends who simply don’t understand the depth of grief that can accompany the passing of a pet. Using the term ‘fur baby’ helps illustrate this connection and can spread the understanding that a pet is not to be seen as a possession, rather as a true family member. Bereavement is therefore equally valid, whether it is following the passing of a grandparent or a child’s beloved guinea pig.

Looking at the words and phrases we use both to describe our grief and to support those going through it is very enlightening. Ultimately however, the most frequently used expressions of support across Facebook do not come in the form of words: x’s as kisses, and emojis feature strongly throughout as friends share the simplest expression of solidarity through images of broken hearts, footsteps, animal faces and rainbows.
Sometimes words are just not required.

xx

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Rainbow Bridge

Many of us who have lost a pet are comforted by the sentiment behind Rainbow Bridge, the peaceful place ‘this side of Heaven’ where pets wait to be reunited with their human friends. It is not known to whom this reassuring concept can be attributed, only that throughout the 80s and 90s the idea of a Rainbow Bridge was widely shared across the world. Scholars have noted a similarity to a central feature of 13th century Norse mythology, Bilfröst; a burning rainbow bridge that spans between our world (Midgard) and Asgard, the realm of the gods. Others have pointed out that the concept of a paradise where pets wait to be reunited with their humans can first be found in published literature in 1902, in the book ‘Beautiful Joe’s Paradise’ by the American author Margaret Marshall Saunders. Whilst waiting in this paradise, animals help each other and recover from any mistreatment they may have experienced on earth, before passing into Heaven in a hot air balloon.

Of course the origins of the Rainbow Bridge are less important than the comfort it brings. Knowing that a much-loved pet is in a better place, peacefully waiting to be reunited with his or her carer can help to fill a little of the void left behind after a pet’s passing.

Rainbow Bridge where they wait to be reunited x

Ralph Site Collection of Writings and Poetry

You might also like to know that The Ralph Site has collected together a selection of writings and poetry with the aim of bringing comfort and understanding to those who have lost a dear friend. All you have to do to receive your free copy is click HERE and enter your name and email address. We promise that we won’t pass your details on to anyone else.

There are other quotes and poems on the main website HERE.

And we leave you with a tender example of one such poem, beautifully describing the huge sense of loss that accompanies the passing of a pet, sadly the author is unknown:

You no longer greet me,
As I walk through the door.
You’re not there to make me smile,
To make me laugh anymore.
Life seems quiet without you;
You were far more than a pet.
You were a family member, a friend
. . . a loving soul I’ll never forget.
It will take time to heal –
For the silence to go away.
I still listen for you,
And miss you every day.
You were such a great companion,
Constant, loyal and true.
My heart will always wear,
The paw prints left by you.

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team,

The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.