At The Ralph Site  we talk a lot about bereavement – how it feels and why it’s important not to let others judge you for how you react to the loss of your friend. One commonly experienced   symptom of bereavement is the disruption of your normal sleeping pattern, and so this week we’re going to look at how this might manifest itself, and more importantly, what you can do to take matters back into your own hands.

Almost everyone will have problems sleeping at some point in their life – a period of stress at work, physical discomfort or worrying about loved ones can all play havoc with your eight hours a night. Usually the disruption is short-lived, but prolonged sleep problems can negatively affect your mood, energy level and productivity at work, as well as putting strain on relationships. Such sleep problems can be categorised as follows:

•  Insomnia – difficulty falling asleep, waking up in the night or waking much earlier than usual
• Oversleeping
• Night terrors
• Sleep walking – aside from putting you in danger of physical harm, regular sleep walking will result in a reduction in the quality of sleep, so that you feel tired all the time.

Like most sleep problems, those resulting from feeling lost and low after the death of a pet will eventually lessen with time. However, there are some simple steps you can take to hasten this process, so that your sleep patterns return to something more like normal and you wake refreshed and ready to face the new day again:

• Establish a routine. Wherever possible, try to go to bed and wake up at the same times every day – this will help your body associate the time between with sleep. Only go to bed when you feel tired enough to sleep – this may be later than you’re used to but if it means you fall asleep quicker, your body will benefit from the same amount of sleep without your anxiety levels rising as you lay in bed early, watching the minutes tick by.
• Make your sleeping environment comfortable and quiet. Collect plenty of blankets and pillows in case you feel cold and remove any disturbing noises – ear plugs can help if you have a partner who snores, or you may wish to move to another room altogether! Blackout blinds will keep the room dark, or a nightlight will take the edge off the darkness if that bothers you.
• Relax before you go to bed. Tempting as it is to check your social media one last time,experts recommend switching off phones and tablets half an hour before retiring.
• Instead, why not choose a relaxing book – most people find that reading in bed soon makes them feel tired!
• Catch up on lost sleep in the day. Sometimes a power nap can be just the thing to revive flagging energy levels, but take care to make sure they don’t become a regular feature at set times – this will have a detrimental impact on the normal sleep routine you’re trying to establish.
• Pay attention to your diet and exercise regime. You might wish to avoid stimulants such as alcohol, nicotine and caffeine in the evenings. Also, try not to eat and drink too much after 8pm as a full stomach can prevent you falling asleep, whilst a full bladder will prompt you to wake up in the early hours!
• Keep a sleep diary. Jotting down details about how you’re sleeping can identify patterns – perhaps you have problems sleeping after eating certain foods, or at particular times of the month.
• Try a herbal remedy. A few drops of lavender, valerian, passionflower or lemon balm on your pillow can help relax your body and mind into a restful sleep. Or add a few drops to the bathwater, followed by a long wallow with calming music and candlelight – that should do the trick!

Of course, prolonged sleep problems can sometimes have more deep-seated causes (for example, oversleeping can be linked with underlying medical conditions such as diabetes and heart disease) – professional help may be useful in addressing and overcoming these if so. You can find lots more general advice on how to sleep better on the NHS Choices website.

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team.
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Whilst parasites can be a problem all year round, once the weather starts to warm up those of us with pets in our lives know that it’s time to think about getting our pets’ flea and worm protection up to date again. Whilst nobody likes to think of parasites living in and on their beloved pets, sadly it is an inevitable reality for any animal exposed to the great outdoors (and in no way reflects on the cleanliness of your pet or your home). Even indoor pets can come into contact with fleas and worms if they mix with other pets that do go outside, and it’s even possible for parasites to be brought into the home on our shoes.

We think it’s always better to be safe than sorry, so we’ve put together a reminder about some of the most common types of parasitic pests, along with some suggestions of products to help you tackle them.

Fleas

If you see your pet scratching excessively, notice small scabs and spots on their skin, or find small brown specks of flea dirt in their fur (particularly round their bottoms), then you may have a flea problem. Fleas live and feed on pets – females lay eggs on the host animal, which then drop off into your pet’s bed or favourite resting spot. Therefore it’s important to treat your home too, with a thorough vacuuming followed by the application of specially formulated flea spray, in addition to treating your pet. In this way you can break the life cycle of the flea and protect your cat, dog or rabbit from an immediate re-infestation.

Fortunately, there are a number of highly effective flea treatments available, so you’re sure to find one that works for you and your pet.

Worms

Rabbits do not tend to suffer with worms, whilst the most common in cats and dogs are:

Roundworms

Looking like strings of spaghetti or elastic bands, they are picked up from the environment, as well as being passed from animal to animal, and possibly on to the two-legged members of the household! Roundworm eggs are almost invisible to the human eye, so can be difficult to spot.

Tapeworms

You may find segments of these worms excreted in your pet’s faeces (they look like flattened grains of rice). An intermediate host, such as a passing flea, transmits tapeworms and therefore it is advisable to treat your pet against both worms and fleas.

However, no worm control will prevent re-infestation; the products only kill worms already present rather than providing protection against future problems. Therefore it is recommended that you treat your pet regularly, especially if he or she hunts or scavenges.

And don’t forget, if you need further advice on any aspect of parasite control, your veterinary practice will be only too happy to recommend solutions that suit your pet’s lifestyle and provide the safest and most effective control.

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Pets spend a considerable proportion of their time sleeping, which means that providing a safe, warm and comfortable bed is one of the most important things you can do to enhance the quality of your pet’s life.

When it comes to choosing a bed for your cat or dog, there is a huge choice of shapes, styles and colours, with options to match all budgets – you’ll certainly find plenty of food for thought when looking. Whichever bed you choose, it’s a good idea to keep in mind some practical considerations:

Cats

Our feline friends tend to choose their own space to sleep, and it’s almost never where you’d like it to be! Their natural instincts draw them to elevated spots where they can safely observe everyone else, so the top of wardrobes, bunk beds and sofa arms can be popular spots for a snooze. However, cats also like peace and quiet, so you may find that underneath the bed becomes a similarly popular location for a catnap. Place your cat’s bed in a warm, accessible but quiet place and it’s sure to become a favourite spot for a snooze. You’ll find that your cat will arrange things how he / she wants them, but placing a blanket or jumper inside offers some extra warmth and comfort along with familiar smells – important when introducing a new bed. You can even place a heated pad under your cat’s bed for added comfort.

Dogs

Dogs can also have firm views on where they’d like their bed to be, shunning their lovely warm beanbag for a spot on the doormat or utility room floor, or dragging the bed to a preferred location. Trial and error will usually get you both to a successful end result. Practical considerations are important – dogs will inevitably introduce mud, leaves and worse (depending on what they’ve been rolling in!) into their bed, along with a build-up of moulted fur. For this reason you’ll want to choose bedding that can be easily cleaned, ideally by going in the washing machine.
Cushions and pillows become lumpy after a few washes as the filling moves around, but by choosing one with a removable cover or providing a fleecy blanket on top you can minimise the problem of the smelly bed!

Rabbits and guinea pigs

Living outside, it’s important that your small furry pets have sufficient bedding to keep them warm at night. Wood-shavings and sawdust are not recommended for use in sleeping areas, so choose a good quality meadow hay or timothy hay. Recycled paper bale can also provide a practical and environmentally friendly solution – it’s dust-free (so no allergens or irritants) and highly absorbent.

Hamsters, gerbils and mice

In the wild these animals like to burrow and dig and will make nests out of grass and natural materials – therefore it makes sense to replicate these conditions as far as possible for your pets. Once again, wood-shavings and sawdust are not recommended for use in sleeping areas and so we recommend a bedding made from natural fibres that won’t cause any harm if digested.

And now all this talk of bedding is making us sleepy……. Off for a lie down!……

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team,
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support.

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Looking out of the window this morning, the garden is buzzing with activity. Blue tits dart past collecting twigs and moss, checking out nesting sites to raise their new broods. Spring is springing all around us, and yet as nature emerges from her winter slumber and another cycle of renewal and growth begins, this can be the hardest time to cope with the loss of a friend.

We have discussed the grieving process previously, and there are lots of valuable resources and links for anyone living through bereavement on our sister site The Ralph Site. Here’s a reminder of some of our suggested coping strategies – unfortunately we can’t promise that they’ll take the pain of your loss away completely, but they may help you come to the realisation that there are better times ahead.

1. Don’t let others tell you how to feel, and don’t be hard on yourself if you feel differently than you have in similar circumstances in the past – everyone’s grief is unique
2. Ask for help. This may be emotional support from friends and family, or practical help from friends (looking after any other pets until you feel ready, arranging memorials etc.) You may also benefit from professional advice and the support of a counsellor and you can find more details here.
3. Talk to others who have lost pets – listening to their experiences helps to show that you are not alone and may unlock helpful suggestions for dealing with your own grief. You might like to join The Ralph Site’s private Facebook group where members share their thoughts and feelings openly and without judgment. Membership of this private group is by invitation only; all you need to do is click on the link here and leave a request to join.
4. Create a memorial to your pet – this can be a photo album, a personal website, a posting on a public website or something more traditional, such as a grave marking, planting a tree in a favourite spot or a garden plaque or ornament
5. Take care of yourself. Eat a healthy diet and make sure you’re getting plenty of sleep and exercise. Although it may be the last thing you feel like doing, exercising releases endorphins which will help to boost your mood
   Maintain a normal routine. This is especially important if you have other pets in the house – they may be experiencing their own grieving process and keeping to an established daily timetable of feeding, walking and grooming helps bring some stability
6. Look for new sources of joy. Sharing your life with a pet not only provides emotional fulfilment but also fills many hours of every day. Filling at least some of this space with a new hobby, volunteer work or by making new friends will help fill the void
7. Stay connected to friends. For dog owners, walks provide opportunities to catch up with familiar faces – without these daily encounters valuable social interactions are lost and therefore it’s important to spend time in the company of friends and family to minimise feelings of loneliness
8. Show any children in the family that it’s OK to grieve – keeping emotions bottled up is not healthy and by encouraging a child to talk about how they feel you’ll be helping both him / her and yourself move through the grieving process more quickly
9. Don’t rush to fill the space with a ‘replacement’ pet. This is especially important for children – bringing a new hamster home within hours of losing a much-loved pet may give them the message that their grief and sadness can easily be overcome. They may feel disloyal to the memory of their friend and fail to bond with the new pet, or their reactions to future bereavements may be adversely affected.

Of course these tips are not intended as a cure-all for grief, but we hope that some or all of them may bring relief to anyone feeling that they may not feel happy again. Because just as the seasons roll inevitably on, our hearts and minds will find a way to heal themselves in time.

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Spring is now underway – the season of regrowth and a time when many animals naturally produce their young; indeed, the number of new puppies and kittens often peaks at this time of year. Sadly not all of these new arrivals will be planned and welcome. Moreover thousands, indeed millions, of companion animals are put to sleep every year in ‘kill’ shelters as there are not enough homes for them all. This is why The Ralph Site strongly recommends that you have your pet neutered as soon as possible.

Aside from the oversupply of companion animals in the world, neutering may also have other potential benefits, including for the health of domesticated animals. It can also adjust the behaviour of domesticated animals allowing them to live more comfortably alongside us, for example by helping to reduce aggression, straying, spraying, calling and other anti-social behaviour.

Both spaying (removal of the female reproductive organs) and castration (in males) are routine and straightforward procedures in dogs and cats, and your vet will likely carry out hundreds of them every year. Both operations are generally done as day cases, so your beloved pet will be home with you the same day for some treats and plenty of TLC. Increasing numbers of practices are now carrying out keyhole spays on their female patients; the smaller incision required means a quicker and more comfortable recovery for your little lady, as well as reducing the risk of post-operative infections.

There are already too many unwanted animals in the world!

The British Small Animal Veterinary Association recommends that as a rule, cats be neutered from four months old, and rabbits and dogs at around six months. It’s always best to discuss the options with your own vet as he / she will be able to give specific advice that’s best suited to your pet’s individual circumstances. It’s widely acknowledged that neutered rabbits of both sexes enjoy improved health (uterine cancers are very common) and happiness (lower testosterone means a calmer male!), and for obvious reasons, un-neutered rabbits would have to live alone, which isn’t fair on an animal that needs company.

It is in everybody’s interests to keep the numbers of unwanted pets as low as possible. If the cost of the neutering procedure is an issue, you might like to know that several organisations are able to provide subsidised rates for responsible carers wishing to neuter their pets, and you can find plenty more information about such schemes, as well as a whole host of advice on the following websites:

• RSPCA
• DOGS TRUST
• CATS PROTECTION
• THE MAYHEW offers a range of free and reduced-cost neutering initiatives for those in the London area

Some people are reluctant to neuter their pets because they believe that it causes them to gain weight. Whilst not strictly true, neutering does slow down the metabolism of many animals and therefore you may find that your pet is prone to weight gain after having the procedure. With this in mind, you may wish to consider transitioning your pet onto a food that is designed to provide the correct blend of calories and nutrients for neutered pets – the nursing team at your veterinary practice will be more than happy to advise you further here and many practices offer free weight management clinics.

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.