Friends of The Ralph Site will not be surprised to find that one of the most popular sections of our website is our Memorials page. Hundreds of bereaved carers have already uploaded photos and memories of their special friends – placing a permanent visual record of their pet online serves a number of positive purposes:

•  Providing a lasting reminder of the unique character of a beloved companion
•  Drawing empathy, thoughts and prayers from other pet carers
•  Helping to provide a sense of closure and acknowledgement

Some people find that it helps to share stories of the unique personalities of their own much-loved pets, whilst others take some small comfort from reading about pets who have crossed the Rainbow Bridge. When the time comes, if you want to share your own feelings on The Ralph Site, it’s very easy to add a memorial. You can find more details here.

Every day we share one or more memorials on our Facebook page  marking the anniversary of animal companions that have passed away within the previous three years. Our many Facebook friends tell us that they greatly value this welcoming and understanding space, where pet carers can share their feelings and offer advice to anyone feeling angry, sad or frustrated in their loss. Others often add poignant and sensitive posts and comments, which help anyone grieving to understand that they are not alone.

Ultimately that is what we are most proud of at The Ralph Site – the shared sense of community created by people from all walks of life, united by a common thread. We have each experienced the pain of losing a much-loved friend and we aim to support anyone going through, or preparing for, the loss of a pet through our work. If you have visited The Ralph Site recently, you may have noticed that we offer friends the opportunity to commission ‘Original pet portraits’. These lovely pastel artworks are done by Mel Saalfeld, a veterinary colleague of our founder who has very kindly offered to donate her commission fees to The Ralph Site. As a not-for-profit organisation, we are always very grateful for any support that helps us continue our pet loss work.

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

In the first of our series of mini interviews with friends of www.theralphsite.com we contacted Penny Hudson, who shares her memories of pets she has known and loved, along with some wise words of advice for anyone experiencing the loss of a much-loved companion:

1. Do you currently share your home with any pets? If so, please tell us about them.

We have a cat called April who we fostered from the local Cats Protection. When she first came to us she had been found as a stray, 10 months old and pregnant. After her kittens were born and rehomed, we adopted her.

2. What was the name of your first pet?

When I was a child we had a cat called Tibby. However, the first pet in my current family came to us when I was married – another cat, called Cheekie.

3. Why did you choose that name?

My daughter named her – I think perhaps she identified a trait in her personality early on!

4. Cats, dogs or another species? Can you choose? And why?

I would choose a cat, having been more used to them throughout my life. In recent years though I have had more contact with dogs, as I regularly take care of my son’s dog when they go away.

5. What is your favourite memory of an animal who has shared your life?

That would have to be the sight of Toffee approaching people passing the house, wanting to be stroked!

6. Which three words would you choose to describe him / her?

So much love!

7. What is your favourite fictional animal and why?

Winnie the Pooh – he always seems so happy and is loved by all, young and old.

8. If you could be any animal, which one would you choose and why?

I would definitely like to be a cat – the idea of being able to take plenty of naps and have lots of fuss made of me is very appealing!

9. What advice would you give to someone grieving for a much-loved pet?

No matter what anyone else says, never feel guilty about grieving for a pet; they are just as much a part of the family as the human members. Surround yourself with memories and talk to others who understand how you are feeling.

10. When and how did you first come across The Ralph Site? What do you think is the most important role of The Ralph Site community?

To support each other with love and understanding.  When my cat Toffee died I found the grieving so hard. I had feelings that I didn’t know how to cope with – I felt guilty and kept replaying memories of her last hours. A member of my veterinary practice recommended The Ralph Site to me, and through it I met some wonderful people who understood my feelings. I was able to remember Toffee with a memorial, talking about her with people who understood. Now I hope I can help others who are grieving by reassuring them that they are not alone, by talking and listening as they describe the sadness they are experiencing after the loss of a precious pet. All these experiences and feelings are perfectly normal, and that is one of the strongest and most positive messages from The Ralph Site community.

We’ll be featuring regular mini-interviews with friends of The Ralph Site in future; so do keep an eye out every first and third week of each month!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Reflecting the spirit in which The Ralph Site was originally created, the community of friends and supporters who use its resources and share their own experiences and emotions with other bereaved carers has developed into something truly amazing.
Complementing the original website www.theralphsite.com are two Facebook pages, each serving different needs:

• Our open-access Facebook page bit.ly/ralphsitefbpage features a daily ‘Today we especially miss…’ post, celebrating the life and memory of a pet that passed on the same date in previous years. Our page currently has over 43,000 friends!
• A members-only closed group bit.ly/ralphsitefbgroup, which you can join by request and benefit from support and advice from others in the same position, without exposing your posts to wider public view. The group currently has over 1,500 members so there’s always someone who understands.

We also write this weekly blog, providing advice on a wide range of pet care issues and support for anyone struggling with the loss of a beloved pet. Those of you who read the blogs regularly will notice a change in the coming weeks, so we wanted to let you know what we’re up to!

The Ralph Site will continue to publish a new blog every week, with the first and third blogs of every month written by you, our friends! We’ve already contacted some of you to answer ten pet questions, and you’ll see the answers to these next week:

1.  Do you currently share your home with any pets? If so, please tell us about them.
2.  What was the name of your first pet?
3.  Why did you choose that name?
4.  Cats, dogs or another species? Can you choose?! And why?!
5.  What is your favourite memory of an animal who has shared your life?
6.  Which three words would you choose to describe him / her?
7.  What is your favourite fictional animal and why?
8.  If you could be any animal, which one would you choose and why?
9.  What advice would you give to someone grieving for a much-loved pet?
10. When and how did you first come across The Ralph Site? What do you think is the most important role of The Ralph Site community?

We always love to hear your thoughts and listen to your stories of the many special pets that have shared your lives, and this twice-monthly mini-interview seems like a good way to share these with a wider audience. The second week of each month will feature advice and information on a range of bereavement support issues, with the aim of providing practical support to anyone in need of help at such a difficult time. Finally, the last blog of each month will be a round up of animals in the news, topical stories of our four-legged friends from across the UK and around the world. We hope you’ll continue to join us for your weekly read!

So, until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

With Halloween fast approaching we thought it might be fun to take a light-hearted look at some of the stories and legends surrounding spectral animals. Whether or not you believe in ghosts and things that go bump in the night, there have been countless stories over the years relating to the links between humans and animals that are difficult to break once pets have passed; whether these links are emotional, spiritual or supernatural. Friends of The Ralph Site know all too well that pets possess souls, and where there have been loving bonds through life, who is to say that these are completely cut after death?

Spirit guides and familiars

European folklore since medieval times has spoken of animal guides, or familiars – supernatural entities that helped witches in their practice of magic and the dark arts. Legend has it that a witch’s familiar was a black cat, but there are many recorded tales of rats, toads, ferrets and hares also taking this role.
During the English Civil War, the Royalist general Prince Rupert was always accompanied in battle by his poodle Boye. The dog was greatly feared among the Parliamentarian forces and was credited with possessing supernatural powers, working as a familiar to influence the outcome of combat. So much so that the poor animal was eventually shot by opposition forces, allegedly with a silver bullet.

The Demon Cat of Washington DC

For centuries legend has spoken of a Demon Cat that haunts the Capital Building in Washington D.C. A black, and decidedly feline spirit is said to appear during times of great political strife, natural disasters, or on a central dias in the rotunda following the unexpected death of a president. Roaming throughout the building, its unsettling presence has been seen and felt by many, with several guards having reported the ghostly cat physically attacking them.

Haunting Hollywood hounds

In Hollywood Cemetery in Richmond, Virginia is the final resting place of author Ellen Glasgow. When she died, she stipulated in her will that her two pet dogs be exhumed from her garden and buried with her. There have been many who claim to have since heard the creatures scampering around the grave late at night!

Los Angeles Pet Cemetery

This eminent spot is the final resting place for many of Hollywood’s famous animal actors – Hopalong Cassidy’s horse Topper and Petey the pitbull who starred in the movie Little Rascals to name but two. Most are peaceful in their eternal rest, but Rudolph Valentino’s Great Dane Kabar is said to roam regularly through the cemetery, licking anyone who stops at his grave.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

With Halloween and Bonfire Night fast approaching, we thought it would be useful to remind our readers of some practical steps that you can take to help your pets stay calm amidst the inevitable bangs and whizzing noises experienced at this time of year.

It goes without saying that outdoor pets are more exposed to the sights and sounds of Halloween and Bonfire Night, and so we recommend checking on them regularly to reassure yourself that no ‘tricks’ have been played near the hutch, and that any stray fireworks or sparklers are safely removed. If you can, move your pet’s hutch into a garage or shed for added protection and noise insulation, and if this is not possible, add plenty of extra hay and place some old carpet over the hutch to dull the noise and provide extra warmth.

Many dogs and cats are likely to find unexpected loud noises stressful (the RSPCA estimates that 45% of dogs exhibit signs of stress when they hear fireworks). With a little bit of preparation, you can lessen the effect on your cats and dogs – listed here are our Top Ten Tips, including some products that you may wish to buy now so that you’re ready:

1. In the run up to Bonfire Night, start letting your cat out or taking your dog for a walk earlier in the evening so that they are used to a new routine rather than being stressed by a big change on the night.
2. Consider using an Adaptil spray on your dog’s blankets and toys – by mimicking the appeasing pheromones produced naturally by the mother it helps to calm your dog down. For cats, Feliway sprays work in the same way. Both products are available either from your vet or online, along with plug-in diffusers.
3. Build a safe, dark, comfortable den in a quiet place indoors, and place your pet’s favourite toys, treats and blankets in it.
4. Leave the door to the room where you have made this den open, or provide space for your pet to come and go freely – shutting your cat or dog in will only increase their stress levels.
5. Lock or block any cat flaps so that your pet cannot escape, and provide a litter tray, plenty of food and water and a comfortable blanket.
6. Keep all doors and windows closed, drawing curtains and blinds to keep the noise to a minimum.
7. Sit with your dog or cat, helping them to relax by following a normal evening routine and with music or the television on in the background.
8. If your pet shows any signs of fear try to ignore their behaviour. Don’t punish or fuss over him / her as this will give the message that what they are doing attracts attention, and thus makes things worse in the long run.
9. If you know a dog that isn’t scared by noises (and is already familiar to your own dog), keeping the two together during the evenings may help demonstrate that there’s no need to be afraid.
10. If your pets are not already microchipped, it’s a very good idea (and a legal requirement for dogs) to get this done. That way, if your pet does manage to escape and runs off, or hides somewhere unfamiliar, he / she can be safely and quickly returned to you.

We wish you all a safe and calm Bonfire Night!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team,
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.