Losing a loved one is devastating.
And whilst the sense of loss is universally intense, it is uniquely experienced – no two people will feel the same way, just as the same person will feel different every time they experience loss.

It seems obvious to say, and yet so often society and well-meaning friends assume that we are following a predictable and understandable process of grieving. There is no ‘right’ way to react or feel following the loss of a much-loved pet, and it’s impossible to know how you will feel in advance. Preparing for an inevitable end is no easier than experiencing a sudden loss.

People may say to you: “it’s only a pet” or “but it’s been ages now”, as if there is an acceptable time to feel bad, and after that point you simply have to switch off and move on.
Others may secretly wonder why you don’t seem sad; how can you have moved on so quickly?
Try to remember that everybody means well, they are either trying to help you move towards happier times, or preparing for a delayed reaction. Take on board any comments that you find helpful, and simply disregard those that you don’t – try not to magnify your grief with anger or sadness directed towards others. Because grief, in all its forms, is personal.

You might find it comforting to keep a photograph or a memento of your pet with you at all times.
You might find it morbid or upsetting.
Both reactions are perfectly normal, and equally OK.

You might feel that you don’t want your pet’s ashes returning.
Or you might wish to plan a trip to a favourite beach and scatter them over the dunes where she loved to run.
Either course of action (and of course anything and everything else in between) is just fine.

It’s OK to feel the way you feel, whatever that may be.

You might find it helpful to read the experiences of others who are going through the same emotions as you. The Ralph Site public Facebook page and private Facebook group offer non-judgemental spaces to offer advice, ask for support or simply to share memories of a wonderful companion.

There are also lots of links to useful websites and organisations offering support through the grieving process on our main site. You might not be ready for resources such as these right now, and indeed you might not feel that you ever need them, but they are there for you if, or when, you do.

Of course, there is no website or blog that can take away the pain of loss, but there is comfort to found in the knowledge that you are not alone, that it’s OK to feel how you are feeling.
And it will ease:

Grief never ends,
But it changes.
It’s a passage,
Not a place to stay.
The sense of loss
Must give way
If we are to value
The life that was lived.
Grief is not a sign of weakness
Nor lack of faith
It is the price of love.

(Author unknown)

Until next time very best wishes,

Shailen
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Pets remain as popular as ever in UK households – 2015 research published by the Pet Foods Manufacturers’ Association in their annual report finds that:

• 46% of UK households have a pet
• The pet population is currently estimated to be around 58 million (not far behind the human population of 64.5 million!)
• Indoor fish make up the largest group of pets, at 19.9 million
• Dogs are the most popular pet in UK households, with a quarter of homes sharing their sofas with a canine companion
• Figures suggest that there are now almost a million more dogs than there were five years ago (8.5 million in 2015, as opposed to 7.6 in 2010), whilst the cat population has dropped by half a million over the same timescale (currently estimated at 7.4 million, down from 7.9 million in 2010)
• Numbers of rabbits and small furries remain fairly static, with 2% of UK households caring for each

Source: www.pfma.org.uk/pet-population-2015

The human-animal bond is wonderful!

Because, as we all know, pets enrich the lives of everybody lucky enough to share that special bond. As well as providing companionship and love, studies have also found a clear link between pets and improved health:

• One study at Cambridge University found that the people with pets had fewer minor ailments (such as colds and headaches) compared with those without pets in their lives.
• An Australian study has suggested that having a pet may lower levels of cholesterol and blood triglycerides, which are risk factors for heart disease.
• Heart attack survivors who care for pets have been shown to live longer than people with the same heart problems who don’t have pets in their lives.

Source: www.webmd.boots.com/stress-management/features/health-benefits-of-pets

So next time you are presented with a little unexpected ‘present’ on the doorstep, or have to clean up the aftermath of indoor chasing games, remember that it’s all good for you!

Until next time, very best wishes from Shailen and theRalph Site team.
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Any pet lover will tell you that you can’t put a price on the special bond between them and their pet. And yet every pet owner knows that there could easily be an unexpected bill just around the corner if his or her pet becomes ill or has an accident. And who wouldn’t want their pet to be given every chance of a full recovery, with access to the very best care?

According to the figures released recently by The Cooperative Insurance, cats and dogs typically cost their owners £5,000 over their lifetime. Dog owners spend on average £5,551 or £427 a year, while cat owners typically spend around £4,980 in total, or £332 a year.
Veterinary fees account for 75% of these costs, while special dietary requirements can add up to another 17%.

The hidden costs of pet ownership

It’s important to reassure you that The Ralph Site is not affiliated to any insurance company, nor do we have any vested interest in promoting policies. The views that follow simply reflect our belief that insurance makes sense, in all its forms. With increasingly advanced tests and treatment options now available, the cost of an average vet’s bill is estimated by Moneysupermarket to be £300, with £1,500 for surgery and £5,000 for ongoing chemotherapy.

Industry figures suggest that under half of owners are able to pay a large and unexpected vet bill, with everyone else resorting to credit cards, savings, practice finance schemes or loans in order to cover the costs. Taking out pet insurance protects you against such eventualities and means that you will always have the peace of mind of knowing that your vet will be able to undertake the ‘best’ treatment, rather than only being able to consider the most cost-effective one.

There are many companies offering pet insurance, from High Street names to specialist providers; so much so that it can be difficult to choose! It’s worth talking to your vet, as not all policies are the same and you could find yourself with a policy that may well be cheap, but which does not cover your pet’s ongoing care. As mentioned The Ralph Site has no vested interest in any insurance company but the founder has received very good feedback about PetPlan from many pet carers.

In essence there are three types of insurance policies:

12-month / annual policies

These policies will cover a particular condition for a period of 12 months from diagnosis; after that time the condition will be excluded. So if your dog is diagnosed with arthritis, the first year’s veterinary bills will be covered, but the policy will not cover any costs associated with arthritis care after twelve months. Remember that under such policies, when conditions are diagnosed, even if no treatment is given, they are excluded from cover after 12 months.

Maximum benefit policies (Individual Condition Cover)

With this type of policy you can claim a maximum amount for each condition, without a time limit. So your arthritic dog might be given a lifetime allowance of £10,000, and once this has been spent, cover for that condition ceases.

Lifelong cover

These policies do what they say – they cover the costs of treatment and care for as long as your pet needs them; great when you consider that many common conditions such as arthritis, heart and kidney problems, and skin disease require long-term treatment.
Such policies are more expensive, but undoubtedly offer the best peace of mind in safeguarding your pet and your purse.

Always make sure that you read the small print of any insurance policy you are considering, both to check that it is right for you, and also so that you understand any excesses imposed. Ultimately, only you can decide whether pet insurance is worth it, but we certainly urge you to take an informed decision either way. Any of the price comparison websites will allow you compare and contrast levels of cover and costs, and you can also find lots of impartial reviews and plenty of useful advice HERE.

Until next time very best wishes,

Shailen
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Now that the summer holidays are over, and some kind of normal routine returns to households up and down the country, thoughts are turning to the autumn months. For many pet owners this time of year brings a sense of dread, as Bonfire Night approaches and memories of last year’s whining, barking and cowering behind the sofa return to haunt anyone sharing their home with a nervous pet.

Whilst it is inevitable that the week around November 5th will bring fireworks and loud bangs, the good news is that there is plenty you can do to help reduce the stress felt by your pet (as well as by you!). The trick to effectively countering noise phobias is to start early, and now that we are a couple of months out, it is a good idea to take action.

The first thing to do is speak to your vet – many practices have either a vet or nurse who specialises in animal behaviour and who will have lots of experience working with nervous pets, helping them survive Bonfire Night with the curtains intact.

You can also buy CD-based programmes (either through your practice or online) to help build up your pet’s confidence and coping mechanisms; one of the most popular is available from our shop. Others are also available including for iTunes download.

The key with any desensitisation programme is to develop familiarity with loud noises, so that your cat or dog learns that they are nothing to be afraid of. This is done by exposing your pet to a loud noise in a safe and controlled environment, and slowly building up the volume and intensity of his or her exposure to loud noises.

Using the special noise CDs, all you need to do is play at a volume that does not provoke a reaction from your pet. Once your pet is settled and calm, with favourite toy or treat to hand, play the CD. If your pet reacts, switch it off and do not show any reaction; trying again the next day. If your pet does not react, leave the track playing for a minute and reward his or her calm behaviour. The next day, play the track again at the same volume, but for longer. Before long your pet will not react at any point during the fifteen-minute duration, and at this stage you can increase the volume before repeating the process over the coming days and weeks, at higher volumes and longer durations.

As you can see, the noise desensitisation process requires time and lots of patience, but it is extremely effective and so is well worth the effort to secure many years of panic-free Bonfire Nights in the future!

You can find plenty more advice and information on the subject of noise phobias here.

And as Halloween and Bonfire Night approach, we’ll also take a look at practical tips to help nervous pets cope on the night, so do check back here in a couple of weeks.

Until next time very best wishes,

Shailen
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

This week we’ve been marveling at the endless presence of pets in cartoons through the ages, with many of our favourite childhood characters having been immortalised in illustrated fur. Perhaps with pets taking up so much room in our hearts, it’s not surprising that they have also a considerable presence in our film and television culture.

Cats

Cat lovers will fondly remember a whole host of feline characters:

• Felix the Cat, who first appeared in comic strips and silent films throughout the 1920s.
• The endlessly unlucky Sylvester, outwitted daily by the wily Tweety Pie. Sylvester J. Pussycat Senior (to give him his full name!) first appeared in 1945 and went on to grace hundreds of Looney Tunes cartoons, winning three Academy Awards in the process.
• The equally dim-witted Tom, of Tom and Jerry fame, featured in 114 cartoons produced by Hanna and Barbera between 1940 and 1957, amassing seven Academy Awards and a place in the collective consciousness.
• First published in 1978, the eighties saw the rise and rise of Garfield the cat, whose daily newspaper strip illustrating his boundless sarcasm and disdain for his human Jon brightened many a breakfast table across the world. Odie, Garfield’s nice but dim canine companion, was the perfect foil to his cutting comments and helped fuel a massive worldwide merchandising machine of pencil cases, mugs, duvet covers and the like.

Dogs

Dogs are equally well represented in animation through the ages, with a number of much-loved canine characters, including:

• Goofy. First created by Walt Disney Studios in 1932, the lovable but hardly intellectual dog remains one of Disney’s most popular characters – perhaps we can all identify with his well meaning, but invariably clumsy ways!
• Snoopy. Snoopy made his debut on October 4th, 1950, two days after the first Peanuts strip appeared. At its peak, Peanuts ran in over 2,600 newspapers, with a readership of 355 million in 75 countries, and was translated into 21 languages. Snoopy’s character enjoyed an active imagination, often appearing as his favourite alter egos Joe Cool and World War 1 pilot Ace. Certainly not your average beagle!
• Deputy Dawg. Featuring in 34 episodes shown originally throughout the mid-60s, his adventures revolve almost entirely around his attempts to protect a smallholding from various creatures determined to steal the crops. Harmless fun that proved captivating for many a small child back then!
• Clifford the big red dog. Clifford has featured in more than 80 books, first published in 1963 and still going strong today. His early and widespread appeal helped publisher Scholastic Books become a major force in children’s publishing and landed him a long-running cartoon show.
• Brian, from Family Guy. Bringing the cartoon canine right up to date, Brian is notionally the pet dog of the Griffin family, but is one of the most loved and intellectual characters; a struggling writer who talks more sense than the humans and drives a Toyota Prius!

And finally, let’s not forget the most famous cartoon character of all, Mickey Mouse.
Mickey made his official debut in 1928’s Steamboat Willie, one of the first talking cartoons. He went on to appear in over 130 films, spawn a huge entertainment empire and become the first animated character to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Not bad for a mere mouse!