As The Ralph Site has evolved, one of the things that we’re most proud of is the sense of community that exists amongst our friends. Anyone who has experienced the pain of losing a pet will naturally empathise with those currently going through equally dark days, just as those slowly adjusting to a new kind of ‘normal’ understand the wide range of emotions that shape each day.

The Ralph Site exists to provide support to all those who have lost, or who are preparing for the loss, of a beloved companion. We do this in two ways:

• The main site www.theralphsite.com features a huge amount of practical advice for carers at every stage of the grieving process. It also hosts a number of members-only forums and provides a caring and sensitive space for memorials to be posted. (You must be registered in order to post on the site, and you can do that for free here)
•  Our public Facebook page allows individual stories to be shared, bringing together anyone who has lost a much-loved pet.

You might like to know that we have also created a private Facebook support group to complement our main Facebook page. This group currently has nearly 1,400 members, so by joining you’ll be able to communicate directly with people who can share a wide range of experiences and coping techniques. As you may be aware, Facebook groups work differently to pages – allowing members who may be struggling to create on-going supportive links with others in the group. Notifications alert members when others have posted or commented, developing a mutually beneficial support network to help with the heartache of pet loss.

Our experience is that some people may be reluctant to fully share how they feel about their pets on an open public page, and therefore we have created the closed group to be private.
If you would like to join the group, all you need to do is click here and leave a request to join.

And if you aren’t already Facebook friends with us, why not join the 41,800+ others who have ‘liked’ our page? As well as featuring daily memorials, we also post news and items of interest to pet carers, regularly sharing inspirational quotes and heart warming pet pictures and encouraging friends to do the same.
Because after all, a problem shared is a problem halved.

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

This time we take a look at some of our furred, feathered and scaly friends who have been making the headlines in recent weeks:

Hello Dolly!

Dolly the sheep hit the headlines back in 1996 when she was introduced to the world as the first animal to be cloned. When she began to age prematurely and developed osteoarthritis, it seemed that the already-controversial cloning process might have hit serious problems. Sadly Dolly died aged six and a half, but recently scientists at the University of Nottingham announced that four of her siblings (Debbie, Denise, Dianna and Daisy) have now reached the ripe old age of nine and are living happy and healthy lives with an outdoor herd.
‘The Nottingham Dollies’ will continue to be monitored closely in order to inform future learning for genetic science.

Feline traveller reunited with his owner after crossing the Irish Sea

When an animal rescue centre in the Speke area of Liverpool took in an adorable grey and white cat found scavenging for food outside a takeaway restaurant, the staff quickly named him Danny Boy. After scanning him for evidence of a microchip, they were astonished to find him registered to an address in Northern Ireland, 260 miles away on the other side of the Irish Sea!

Four-year-old Danny (whose rather fabulous real name is Sapeurs Pompier) was bottle-fed by his owner Julie after being abandoned as a kitten. Local searches proved fruitless when he went missing eighteen months ago and whilst nobody knows how he ended up in Liverpool, everybody was very glad that he did! And it just goes to show how important it is to ensure that pets are microchipped!

Beast of Bodmin finally unveiled?

For decades now rumours have swirled around the West Country of a mysterious large cat roaming Bodmin Moor. A number of sightings have been reported over the years but no proof has ever been found of the animal’s existence. Now reports have come to light that legendary circus owner Mary Chipperfield may have released three pumas into the wild in the late 70s.
Danny Bamping, founder of the British Big Cats Society, told The Mirror: “When Dartmoor Zoo was shut down, Mary agreed to transfer her five pumas to Dartmoor Wildlife Park. When they arrived, there were only two pumas in the consignment, but five tags in the cage. Mary Chipperfield said that she had broken down and that somehow three of the pumas had escaped. We think she let them out on the moor.”
We think the mystery may now be solved! Or, maybe not!

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

As we all know only too well, losing a loved one is unbearably hard.

Over time, the shattered fragments of ‘normal life’ do begin to rearrange themselves into a new kind of ‘normal’ – not quite the same as before, but forming some semblance of a state of living once more, rather than simply existing. How long this takes, and in what new form life begins to shape itself will be different for everyone, but just as surely as the healing will begin, there will also be days when the grief hits you hard all over again.

It might strike out of the blue – a sudden realisation that your beloved companion will not return – or it may accompany a chance sighting, a reignited memory triggered by the sight of a flower that perfectly matches the collar your pet was buried with, or finding a forgotten toy under the sofa, months later. Then of course there are those special dates – birthdays, anniversaries of passing, the first Christmas or holiday without your pet.

People will tell you that these milestone days are the hardest – each a stark reminder that someone who was so special is no longer present. And whilst it’s certainly true that on such occasions your loss will be keenly felt, preparing for and marking a key date can sometimes make it easier to cope; providing some kind of structure to your grief, if only for one day. Giving yourself permission to be sad, and signalling to others that they need to pay extra attention to your feelings on such days can actually make these milestones serve a positive purpose, where before they were met with dreaded anticipation.

On the other hand for some people, heaping all the anger and sadness onto one day fails to acknowledge the pain felt every other day. There may also be times when you’re feeling strong and able to cope with those milestone dates, which can then lead to feelings of guilt that you weren’t sad enough, or of frustration when others around you assume that you must be ‘healed’ now because you coped so well on such a difficult day.

In all honesty there is no timetable for grief, as we’ve discussed before. There will always be good days and bad days, and sometimes the bad days can be predicted when they coincide with birthdays and anniversaries but sometimes they will loom large out of nowhere. The only constant is that there will be bad days, and they will decrease in number and intensity over time (although how long this time will be is impossible to say.)

How you cope with the birthdays and special days is entirely personal to you, and may be different from one year to the next. If you’re feeling strong, taking a walk along the routes you explored with your canine companion can bring back happy memories and reconnect you with people and routines that you may not have experienced since your pet’s passing. Not quite closing the book, but at least opening a new chapter. Or you might wish to donate a present in your pet’s name to a rescue centre, or bake a cake and blow out candles in his or her memory.

Do whatever helps and ignore what doesn’t.
Don’t feel compelled to be or do things a certain way, especially on these milestone days.
This is your grief – dealing with it in your own way and in your own time is the only sure way to find your peace.

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

Providing our pets with mental stimulation is one of the most important things we can do to ensure their continued happiness. Interacting regularly with the animals in our lives has enormous benefits for all, with studies consistently showing a lower level of stress both in pet carers and in the pets themselves. Inevitably there are times in the day when we can’t be with our pets; for these occasions, toys designed to challenge and reward our companions are a valuable addition to their living environments.

Cats

As naturally inquisitive animals, cats enjoy games of chase and catch. Aside from the evergreen balls and other shapes on strings, there are lots of toys on the market designed to stimulate a cat’s natural hunting instincts by chasing ‘prey’ (either a ball or cat treat) around a circuit or through a simple maze. Using an online search engine to look for ‘interactive toys for cats’ will bring up endless options to suit all households and budgets. You can even make something similar yourself by sealing up a cardboard box with a ball or some favourite treats hidden inside and making a few paw-sized holes around the outside.

Dogs

Almost every dog log lover will know of Kong, maker of the original treat toys. Placing biscuits and treats inside these sturdy chews encourages dogs to work to free their reward, providing exercise and challenge and replicating natural behaviours. The erratic bouncing of the rubber toys and their soft mouth feel make them a great choice, and the wide product range has something for every shape and size of dog.

Rabbits

It’s vital for any animal living in a hutch or cage to have sensory and mental stimulation in order to keep them happy and engaged. There are a wide range of chews, tunnels and boxes available to buy, but the toys you can make at home are just as good (and much cheaper!) Encourage your rabbit to work for his / her food by placing treats inside cardboard tubes or boxes, or inserting them in small holes. Thread leafy greens through the spiral of a slinky toy and hang from the roof of the hutch so that you rabbit has to work to untwist the tasty leaves.
There are plenty more ideas here.

Guinea pigs and small rodents

With teeth that continue to grow throughout their life, it’s important that these pets are encouraged to chew often, in order to minimise dental issues. Again, there is a wide range of affordable pet-safe chewing toys available to buy, but variety is important to stimulate your pet’s brain, and so you may wish to add homemade options. The inner tubes of kitchen and toilet rolls are a perennial favourite (especially when stuffed with hay with tasty treats hidden in the centre so your pet has to work to free the treats), but you can also use twigs or small pieces of wood from suitable sources. The Hamster Central forum has a list of safe woods here.
Or for the simplest toy of all, hang a piece of fruit or green vegetable on unbleached twine and hang just within reach!

Ultimately the aim of any toy is to prevent your pet becoming bored, ideally by replicating his / her ‘natural’ pre-domestication environment as best you can. Toys are no substitute for time and attention, but used in addition to lots of together-time they can add variety and mental stimulation to your pet’s daily life without breaking the bank. Making your own toys in itself helps strengthen the bond between you and your pet, and is a great way to keep the children busy too!

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.

For many of us, the thought of leaving our pets at home whilst we enjoy a holiday abroad is just too much – after all, what’s the point having a family holiday without a member of the family?! With careful planning it’s perfectly possible to take pets abroad with you in your car, motorhome or caravan (and even by plane, train or ferry) and so this time we’re looking at the practicalities and legalities of holidaying abroad with your pets.

Assistance dogs

It is permissible to take cats and dogs abroad by plane, and all the airlines have specific information on their procedures and requirements online – but do check these well in advance of your trip. Assistance dogs are allowed to travel free of charge with their carers in the cabin (regardless of the class of your ticket).
There’s lots of useful information on how to prepare for your flight, and what to expect, here.

Pet Travel Scheme

Regardless of the mode of transport used, cats, dogs, rabbits, rodents and ferrets returning to the UK must adhere to the requirements of Defra’s Pet Travel Scheme. All the latest details regarding the Pet Travel Scheme can be found here  – the key points are:

•  The animal must have been microchipped
• A valid pet passport or third-country official veterinary certificate must be provided
• All recommended vaccinations must be up to date, and must have been administered at least 21 days prior to travelling
• The pet must be vaccinated against rabies – he / she will also need a blood test if you’re travelling from an ‘unlisted country’ (the current list of permitted countries can be found online)
• Dogs must also usually have a tapeworm treatment
• Your pet may be put into quarantine for up to four months at your own cost if you don’t follow these rules – or he / she may be refused entry if you travelled by sea

If you’d like more detailed advice, you can contact the Pet Travel Scheme helpline on:

• pettravel@apha.gsi.gov.uk
• 0370 241 1710 – Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm (closed on bank holidays)

Practical tips to keep pets happy as they travel

•  If your pet is a nervous traveller, speak to your veterinary practice in advance of your trip and they will be able to recommend techniques and products that might help, such as pheromone sprays and collars.
•  On the day of travel do take plenty of water for your pet, and make frequent stops so that he or she can exercise on a lead and take toilet breaks.
• Pets should always be safely restrained in your vehicle whilst on the move – pets distracting the driver can easily cause accidents, and in the event of any such accident, not only can the animal be hurt, but also the impact of any collision could throw your pet into the other occupants of the car.
•  Pack plenty of familiar toys and blankets so that your pet can experience the comforting smell of home.
•  Don’t be tempted to over-do the treats en route – runny tummies are no fun to deal with in a packed car!
•  To minimise any upset stomachs whilst you’re away, we recommend taking plenty of your pet’s usual food with you. Suddenly switching to a different product is never ideal, least of all in strange surroundings and in (hopefully) hotter temperatures.

And finally – don’t forget to have a fantastic time!

Until next time, best wishes from Shailen and The Ralph Site team
The Ralph Site, non-profit pet loss support 

Please note: The Ralph Site is not affiliated with the third-party organisations in any of the links shared here, and the views, ideas and suggestions expressed in this and other blogs are simply shared with the intention of helping you, our friends, take care of the special animals in your lives.