Comment on Pet loss and self-forgiveness by Melody.

My 14 yrars labrador mix was diagnosed with lyme deasease and i was treating him at home with all the medicins prescribed by his vet. He got way better. However one day he got worse and i needed to take him to the vet…but his vet turned to be on holiday…so i took him to another clinic i thought i could trust.
At that clinic they did the ultra sound of his tummy and found a tumor. The vet at that clinic did the iv and several shuts without even consulting with me or doing the blood test to check on his kidney or liver codnition.
When i brought him home he seemed to feel a bit better but that started throwing up. I called the vet who was treating him and she said…must be just a stomach reaction and prescribed a med. I gave him the med and it seemed to be helping….little did i know that she overdosed my baby with anti inflamatory drugs…which caused a kidney failure 🥺
next day he got worse and she said it was because of his tumor…and he would only get worse and offered to put him to sleep.
I denied to do that…i did not even know whether the tumor was melign or not. So i wanted him to get a bit better to check on that tumor…meanwhile he was slowly dying from kidney failure and i had no idea … next day it was too late to help him…and i ended up putting him so sleep…. I did not know what was happening ….but i am definitely blaming myself for not taking him to the 3d clinic when he threw up…i do not know how to live with this now. I feel that there was a chance to save him but i did not due to not knowing and understanding that the vet cauld harm him or be that incompetent 😳😑….i only realized what happened after days of reading multiple articles describing his symptoms and condition. I can not live with myself and really do not know how to forgive myself.