Comment on Pet loss and self-forgiveness by Jason.
Very helpful article. Thank you. I’ve been pretty relentless to myself, torn up with grief this week. My nearly 19-year-old cat was euthanized four days ago after I let her out on my balcony and she slipped her way through the railing and fell two stories. She used to always go out there but with her vision declining this past year I stopped doing so as much. While working from home I noticed her relaxed by the balcony door looking out the glass and figured I’d open up the door and let her get some air. Checked on her a few minutes later and saw her walking around out there. Should have brought her in then. Checked a few minutes later and she was nowhere to be found. Looked over the railing and to my horror she was laying at the bottom. Raced down there. She was conscious but still. In shock, I suspect. I put her in her carrier and raced to the vet. She apparently had a broken leg and internal bleeding. I’ll never forget she suddenly perked up and popped her head up and looked me in the eyes right as they started euthanasia. I so badly wanted to tell them to wait when I saw that but kept quiet. I talked to her and pet her on the head as her head lowered and eyes dilated a few seconds later. I’d give anything to redo that day. Shouldn’t have let her out there with her vision as bad as it was. At least not without better securing the area. Was planning on letting her go in a few months but didn’t want it to end like this.